Fancy Meeting You

I am just wondering, if it is only my sister Kathreena and my best friend Bru who are reading my posts, how the hell did the numbers reach 500? Every time I open my blog, it does not count, so, I am really guessing (accusing?:))...

Unless my husband Rod secretly clicks every 5 minutes...

Hanyway...I am so excited to transfer to our new place... we are going through the motions (packing, unpacking, sorting) and I look forward to the life I will live in that place, with my hubby and my little girl...

Doing It Fast Vs. Doing It Right

I woke up this morning to my husband's voice, telling the helpers that I would love what he was watching. I caught the last few minutes of great run, 10k, and these runners finishing the race at 33 minutes...

I have not even reached the part in my life that I could finish a 5k in 33 minutes, what more a race that is double in distance, but all I can say is that I have been running for about 6 months now (tomorrow, officially), and I have run 4 10k's, and quite a number of 5k's. And I have hired the help of a coach who totally changed my (wrong ) form and made me go back to the demanding intensity of the 5k distance, slowly but surely.

Slowly but surely.... a very used yet taken for granted kind of line. Especially by me, an impatient, ADD-stricken, results-oriented person.

This line is extended in all aspects of my life, from my running to my career, which I have decided to "give up" for my family. This line is extended to my own finances as well. Well, there are days wherein I imagine how different my life would be if I were a corporate hot-shot, or a well-known teacher, or a pioneer in the field of reading, or a public figure in the running community. My time would probably be so busy, I'd be so in demand...I'd be ubiquitous and omni-present... And I could buy anything I wanted (sorry, I'm a sucker for purchasing power!)

But my daydreaming stops because, in spite of my restlessness, my eagerness to reach my goals, I am grateful for the slow but numerous opportunities to enjoy my family-my supportive husband and my growing 2 year old toddler, my slow but developing runs, my teaching abilities (I tutor kids now, which lessens my missing teaching). I may not be employed in a big school at the moment, but I live to hear my daughter's laughter when we play. I may not be doing my marathon very soon, but as small as my Kenyan steps, I know I will get there. I may not have everything I would wish for this very moment, but I know I have everything I need.

Nothing more, nothing less. Just right....

Run For Home

I'm going to be a bitch.

Was it the disposable timing chip that drew me towards this race? I guess so. I'm thinking why didn't I get turned off when there was a whole fiasco on the online registration? I first registered and I got a P500+ price for doing so. I stopped. And then on another day, I got inspired again and registered. Hassle-free this time.
The claiming of kits was also pretty hassle-free.
But come race day, it was just a little too much.
I only registered for the 5 k. Yes, using the chip was exciting. Fine. But apart from the fact that it started on time, it was a pretty disorganized race. I mean, I have never seen so many runners taking more than a few seconds to stop for water. Usually, cups are all over, with water already. Here, goodness, with only about 2 water jugs, runners had to line up, to get water. That should have been taken care of, no matter how many participants joined, right?
Another was a really horrible scene I witnessed. As the 5k runners were going up Lawton avenue, we were inevitably met by 10 or 21k runners coming back. Yes, a little collision from time to time. The lane was just too narrow. I saw the 21k runners (or were they 10k) bumping into the 5k ones, which in effect may cause an unnecessary accident. And as I mentioned, this was totally unnecessary.
I finished late again. Unofficially 41 mins? I'm okay with that. But what I could not forget was that there were long lines in getting water. I badly needed water since I had to pass up those chances due to the long lines. But until after the race, long lines again?!! I thought that was kind of exasperating!
PLUS! Were there freebies? I didn't bother to line up. The line was just too long!!
Imagine, you're so tired already, and you have to line up for water, and then for freebies...UNNECESSARY STRESS...
Anyway, I was very disappointed with this race. Hope this does not happen again.

Running With My Best Bud

Itago na lang natin siya sa pangalang Bru. :)

I remember I registered for the two of us as early as mid-June, just so we could practice running together. However, the weather was never kind to us. Every time we set a date, there came the downpour. To a point that we were both so pikon already, feeling we had jinxed the weather just by declaring a running date on that particular day.

Anyway, Friday before the run, we were a little lucky to run together. But still, after 2 rounds in my village, the rain angrily let itself go, seeking its sweet revenge, leaving us bitin.

Last Sunday, forgetting all my essentials (i shuffle, setting my watch, my running cap), I went to my best friend's house. And we went to the Fort together.

It was Bru's first time ever to join a run, and she did so, almost dragging me.

You see, Bru is a natural athlete. Since we were kids, she was already a sprinter. Long, strong legs and long, strong strides, she was bound to finish the 5k route fast and quickly. But as the rules stated, thou shall stick with thy buddy, from beginning till the end.

I, on the other hand, am a slow runner, re-learning my technique, breathing heavily and carrying my whole weight around. But as the rules stated, thou shall stick with thy buddy, from beginning till the end.

Actually, the whole experience of running with Bru made me remind of the friendship we have maintained through the years. She a fast runner, obviously taking the lead, but adjusting her long strides to level with me. I, a developing endurance runner, but still asking every now and then if she was okay. Even if she is the stronger one, I try my best to be right behind her, so anytime she feels like stopping, she knows I have her back.

The run reminded me of all our episodes of obstacles and challenges we had to face in our lives, no matter how difficult, we were with each other, sharing stories that reached the point of silliness and therapeutic laughter, knowing that underneath these silly stories we would share, it was really each other's presence that really counted.

The run reminded me that albeit how differently we were woven and created, we choose to stick together and respect each other.

The run also reminded me of how competition was never part of our equation, it was to give and take, to share a piece of ourselves without truly compromising oneself, to adjust when one is in need, to also move forward.


I teased Bru yesterday that she enjoyed being a turtle for her maiden 5k run. Of course she cannot call this her very first 5 k since our time yesterday was not a true reflection of her peak performance.What happened yesterday was just an unforgettable episode in our friendship. I will have to let her go as she joins her first 5k alone, but I will definitely be behind her (maybe not right behind), like a gust of wind, proudly pushing her to do her very best, and applauding her triumph, because she truly deserves it...

Needless to say I enjoyed yesterday's run. :)

Sick Little Ava

Drat. My 2.3 year old toddler is sick. A little feverish, and with a cold that would not come out.

I hate it when this happens... because I see her difficulty in trying to sleep, and any day, I would trade places just to ease her pain...

I just hope she gets well soon. A while ago she was really exerting effort to smile and say things I could hardly understand. But then her eyes said it all...

Random, Incoherent Thoughts On Michael Jacksons Memorial

I do not expect anybody to understand this, but I just had to write them down as I watched the memorial service for the King of Pop, Michael Jackson....

sadness... grief... pain...piercing... sharp...loneliness... missing someone big... missing someone special... honor... glory... remembering my uncle who also passed away too soon, and how God was so kind to him... understanding but not fully understanding Gods plan... poor children so young... Gods gift...unfathomable...weakness... strength... sorrow... family... my childhood... music ...love... respect... to understand...

to finally let go...

A Gym Date With My Husband

It is common knowledge that I really hate the gym. Ever since I started running, my resistance to the gym got more intense, because I felt that I did not need it.

Of course I was wrong. It has been almost six months, yes, some of my clothes fit, but what about my arms when I poke them? That's my karma because whenＩwas much younger, I would play with and jiggle my mother's arms, right in the middle of her sermon (of course, not to me, or she would not have let me touch her!)

And now I am just waiting for the day Ava is mature enough to realize her mother's arms can be a source of amusement/entertainment, and so I have decided to take concrete steps so that day will forever be avoided (umm...lipo from THE Belo Group?)

SO! I enrolled myself in Slimmers' World, which is attempting to revive its "The Place To Be In The 80's-90's" (for the gym buffs, for the party goers, was it Faces?) but my reasons were different: a rainy day wherein I can't use the road to run... but I guess, I have not made full use of the gym's equipment.

The very reason why I hate going to the machines in the gym is that I don't know how to use them. And yes, it's my pride that stops me. I feel stupid going around, scouting for a possible trainer and trying to send brain waves to let them know I'm in the dark when it comes to those machines. Of course, those trainers give me the look that means "no pay, no teach", so I just totally give up on them, and promise myself to just ask my husband who loves those machines to give me tips.

Well, good thing my husband had free guest passes for the weekends at his gym. And so this morning, he and I visited Eastwood, and yes... I conceded saying their gym is newer, modern and the equipment is just state of the art compared to the modest place to be during the 80's-90's. I did some 30 minutes of cross training, from treadmill to bike to arm bicycle and cross trainer) and then my husband was just ever so happy to teach me a few of the machines. He was in his element. In fairness, I did enjoy them. They made me feel a little empowered, and my shoulders, arms, abs and back were challenged.

At least for my gym, I won't look that dumb trying to figure them out. My husband taught me a few tips that I can brag about. But I do look forward to my visit to my husband's gym, too. Though he may never understand my passion for running, I may begin to understand his penchant for weight training.

I just hope my arms will get leaner before my daughter discovers the joy of jiggling them. (I'm sorry, Mom, for all my faults...:))

Giving In To Temptation

For about two weeks now, I have been cutting down on my carbs. I eat brown rice, but recently, I have been measuring them (1/3 cup, and then another 1/3 cup - it's psychological, so I feel I had two servings..), which is now 1/4 and another 1/4. I also cut down on my sports drink, since my training program only demands 30 mins of Kenyan running on the pavement. I don't feel my weight has changed, but some of clothes have started to become a little loose.

Until the other night, when my friends and I went out. They were talking about what to eat at Chili's Restaurant since they had a business meeting there. I realized it has been a long time since I had eaten in that resto, to think that was one of my favorite places to hang out. I immediately suggested Ground Peppercorn Burger, one of the best for me (salty, spicy, crunchy, juicy!). The thought of that left me almost drooling yesterday, and I could not let go of the idea that I just had to eat there. Good thing my husband who also misses the place agreed.

And so we ate there last night. I tried to be conscious by ordering wheat bun, but man, I ate the whole burger all by myself!! It wasn't even the "not breathing while eating" experience. I really savored every bite, and for about thirty minutes, I was in burger heaven. I did not think of how this would affect my arms and tummy, and I did not allow myself to feel guilty. And for some weird reason, I was so so happy....

Well, today is another day, and I was thinking, it doesn't feel so bad to allow myself to give in to these fleeting moments of temptation. These moments are not always allowed, since it's so expensive to be eating out all the time. What I like about these moments is that after I give in to them, I know I need to bounce back to the disciplined life I want to live. I don't need to be so hard on myself (I used to regret and hate myself for being so matakaw and overweight, and and for being addicted to junk-food ) because I feel I can trust myself to bounce back.

I guess I'm beginning to be more positive towards my own self, which I think is one of the hardest things to do...