Giving In To Temptation

For about two weeks now, I have been cutting down on my carbs. I eat brown rice, but recently, I have been measuring them (1/3 cup, and then another 1/3 cup - it's psychological, so I feel I had two servings..), which is now 1/4 and another 1/4. I also cut down on my sports drink, since my training program only demands 30 mins of Kenyan running on the pavement. I don't feel my weight has changed, but some of clothes have started to become a little loose.

Until the other night, when my friends and I went out. They were talking about what to eat at Chili's Restaurant since they had a business meeting there. I realized it has been a long time since I had eaten in that resto, to think that was one of my favorite places to hang out. I immediately suggested Ground Peppercorn Burger, one of the best for me (salty, spicy, crunchy, juicy!). The thought of that left me almost drooling yesterday, and I could not let go of the idea that I just had to eat there. Good thing my husband who also misses the place agreed.

And so we ate there last night. I tried to be conscious by ordering wheat bun, but man, I ate the whole burger all by myself!! It wasn't even the "not breathing while eating" experience. I really savored every bite, and for about thirty minutes, I was in burger heaven. I did not think of how this would affect my arms and tummy, and I did not allow myself to feel guilty. And for some weird reason, I was so so happy....

Well, today is another day, and I was thinking, it doesn't feel so bad to allow myself to give in to these fleeting moments of temptation. These moments are not always allowed, since it's so expensive to be eating out all the time. What I like about these moments is that after I give in to them, I know I need to bounce back to the disciplined life I want to live. I don't need to be so hard on myself (I used to regret and hate myself for being so matakaw and overweight, and and for being addicted to junk-food ) because I feel I can trust myself to bounce back.

I guess I'm beginning to be more positive towards my own self, which I think is one of the hardest things to do...