Let's Get Positive!!!

Grief

2011-06-07T17:15:00.002+08:00

I recently lost someone very dear to me, my Aunt Linda. She was the eldest sister of my dad, and she did not marry. We all lost her to cancer. She beat it the first time eleven years ago. But this time, it came with a vengeance, warning her only for a few months.

And then she was gone.

The last time I lost someone was in 2002-3, my grandmother and my uncle passed away, both within four months. It was a very sad, painful experience. But getting married and having two children somehow clouded those memories, and now that I am older, also because it was very fast, the grief is much more complicated to handle.

There are days when I feel really lonely. I panic at the thought that I will never spend any December 23 or 24 with my Ninang. I panic at the thought that I will never, ever see her again. That she won't call me to buy something for her, or she will not ask me to book a flight for her. I feel sad all of a sudden and I fight the tears.

There are days when I feel remorse or regret. I was not my ninang's favorite. And the initial stages of my grieving even involved jealousy. She and I never had a trip together or a moment together. She gave me jewelry through my sister. That moment of passing it on to me was stolen. She and I never got to say good bye. I told her I loved her but she was not able to say the same to me. For days, there was doubt. But after some time, I had begun to realize that she did love me, and had given me so, so much, even my husband and my children. I was not her favorite and I was not truly close to her because there was also a part of me that did not allow that, maybe out of fear. I don't know.

Many times I feel the loss. My Ninang was not just mine alone. She lived this world for all. She occupied such a big role in our family and everywhere, even in the church. She was everyone's leader and it will take someone really strong, talented and generous person to fill that void. Actually, no one can really take her place.

I dream about her many times. But no face in it. I just know it's her, because in my dreams, I can't stop telling her how much I love her.

I know that someday I will meet her again. But as I live the rest of my blessed life, I continue to pray for her. And for all of us she has left behind. She knows how much we miss her. But just as she wanted, we have to live our lives to the fullest.

There goes that rush of panic again...

Love That Body

2011-06-05T20:36:00.004+08:00

I was recently talking to my best bud, Karish about diets and exercises. She's on a bootcamp, which is about to end, while I, breastfeeding mother, am taking my sweet time and just immersing myself in different exercises. Ever since I can remember, I have always been an exercise freak, but I have always, always hated the gym. I think I had one whole post on how the gym could be my friend, but then again, it's a different culture altogether, plus parking, plus buffs, and all that stuff. I'd rather stay home.

Anyway, I have downloaded many exercise videos and I find myself interested and entertained. Right now, I like Zumba cardio party for, obviously, cardio. There is also the ministry of sound pump it up video, which I cannot complete since it's more than one hour. I also do the Tracy Anderson post pregnancy for muscle and definition. 2nd child plus caesarian section = huge ab workout project. I can't even imagine how I looked in Sitges beach. Good thing I was just a tourist!!

My friends are also influencing me to join Plana Forma. Actually, I have tried it. And I still have one more session that I paid for. I am quite tempted to enrol and go unlimited for one month. But a dwindling milk supply stops me to do so. So, I have decided to put that on hold.

I also tried running again. But slowly and really taking it easy. Had fun the other day running two miles.

I was telling my best friend that I used to be thin. I used to carry a long and lean figure. Why didn't I love myself before, and flaunt whatever I got? My teenage years were all about illusions of grandeur. And now, what I have always feared got to me, creeping like a vine and would not let me go. These fats from college, to motherhood and old age. It's crazy.

Since I cannot diet and I cannot devote so much time to exercises, I have decided to commit myself to the following:

1. Try my best to eat healthy. I started eating brown rice again, and raw food (i.e., greens, fruits, veggies) Yup, I still have a bag of chips, and ice cream, but I'm being more conscious this time...
2. Exercise 5 times a week for at least 30 minutes. It does not have to be so hard, as long as I am having fun and sweating.
3. LOVE MYSELF and MY BODY. Must remember this. I had just given birth. And I must accept the fact that my body is always changing. And I hate the time when I'm all old gray and I'm regretting why I did not love myself when I was actually at most most beautiful phase.

Here's hoping I can do this....

Europe With A Four Year Old and A Baby

2011-06-03T20:40:00.002+08:00

I have no idea how I survived this. But I did for 16 days. It was helpful we were on a cruise. But most of it I think was divine intervention. If you don't have a baby bjorn and a stroller, you're dead. I think those are the first two things you need to pack when you take the plunge. My 6month old slept in the bjorn while my daughter rested on the stroller.

Bringing lots of food also helped. I brought chocolait for Ava and it saved her from gastronomic tantrums. Mc Donalds and Burger King also saved us from a lot of expenses. But how could we resist gelato???

Lots of sandwich bags. All the leftovers came in handy. Everything was converted to 65, so imagine how much the prices of certain things were!!! Especially from the ship. I had no shame in bringing plates of fruit, cookies and bread to my room. It just had to be done.

Shopping? Everybody knows I am a stingy person who takes time in shopping and considers everything an investment. My solution to no chances of trying on clothes? H and M and nothing beyond 20 euros. It was either an expensive disaster or a cheap one that could be given away if the clothes did not fit me. Luckily I have an idea of how my body looked and my size (and the truth still hurts), and so I chose cheap clothes that I knew kinda fit me. A few items to satisfy my urge to shop.

I realized in this trip how helpful my husband was. And how good my children were. What a blessing. Beyond the painful episodes of trying to carry 3 huge bags and the heaviest stroller, I will not trade these experiences for anything. I would do it over and over.

school fever

2011-06-03T14:48:00.003+08:00

My first born is going to the big school. I am over the moon with excitement. But I'm also worried how she will adjust to all 30 classmates and different teachers. Anyway, I just attended the orientation this morning. I have been in that same situation, giving the same instructions and now, I am the parent. It feels weird and creepy? Anyway, I am inches away from laughing at some parents. Maybe because I grew up in that school, but some of them, it's as if it is the parent who is enrolled. Feeling!! I am just hoping our representative is not such a soccer mom. I hate it that they live their lives through their children.

I also hope I'm not that windang mom. Whom the teachers find ridiculous, clueless as to the daughter's schedule. PE day and the kid comes in uniform. No classes and you find her kid in the waiting room. It's really sad. Some parents can be like that too. Maybe because they have such busy jobs and it's really yaya who makes the follow up. Oh well.

I don't know how it will be from the other side of the fence. Scared and excited for my little one. I just hope she'll have the time of her life. All I want is for her to be happy. Always.

Birth Pains

2010-11-27T14:09:00.003+08:00

Im so sleepy. Yet I can't sleep. Is this the result of exhaustion? Probably. Or a cup of brewed coffee. Oh well. anyway, yes, I have given birth already. I am now trying to overcome the pain of a caesarian birth, and this common but not so common case of my recovery from my adhesions poses a challenge. I want to enumerate all my pains, in order for me to overcome them.

- adhesions
- sore nipples from breastfeeding
- lack of sleep
- hunger
- anxiety
- other body pains

My adhesions are really, really bad. Even my ob gyne feels for me, although she never experienced it. The pain heightens at night, when I am really exhausted and eager to sleep. And it is bothersome when I pee, sneeze, laugh, or cough. Terrible, terrible. This will take about a month or two to fully disappear.

Sore nipples- Agustin is not just a voracious eater but a cranky, fussy voracious eater. He gets so fussy before he can latch onto my nipple. It's crazy. It takes 5 to even 20 minutes for him to succeed, and it bothers me. Although once he gets it, it gets smooth sailing already. i think the lack of patience comes from me. After all he is only reaching his second week, and I am so eager to get past the adjustment stage. So there, I know I need a support system (hubby, etc) to let me get through this.

Anxiety - that is my problem now. My mind keeps running wild with unnecessary worries, thinking and thinking, to a point I am in tears and crying uncontrollably. I have no reason to be sad, in fact I am grateful for everything. But, I find myself fearful of the future, thinking of what will happen, trying to protect my two children. I feel guilty that I have to let go of my first born as my baby, but I also feel sad that she has also let go of me as the center of her life. It is a sad and painful journey to witness this, but I guess, I just have to accept this change. She is sometimes regressing, sometimes acting up, but I am also glad that she loves her baby brother very much.And as much as possible I try to involve her in taking care of the baby.

There. Now that I have finally written down my thoughts and feelings, I feel a little bit unloaded. I know this is temporary, fleeting, and that in due time, things will get better. I know it...

For My Babies

2010-05-10T12:37:00.002+08:00

To my Ava and Baby Coochie, this song is for you. Thank you...

What are you doing the rest of your life
North and South and East and West of your life
I have only one request of your life
Is that you spend it all with me.

All the seasons and the times of your days
All the nickels and the dimes of your days
Let the reason and the rhymes of your days
All begin and end with me.

I want to see your face in every kind of light.
In fields of gold
And forests of the night.
And when you stand before the candles on a cake,
Let me be the one to hear the silent wish you make.

Those tomorrows waiting deep in your eyes.
In a world of love you keep in your eyes
Ill awaken whats asleep in your eyes.
It may take a kiss or two

Through all of my life
Summer, winter, spring and fall of my life.
All I ever will recall of my life
Is all of my life
With you.

LET IT ALL OUT!!!!!

2010-05-04T18:08:00.002+08:00

I cannot thank God enough for listening to my prayers. I was not sure I would be able to see Tears for Fears on May 2, but a week before that, my spotting had stopped already.

And it was the best decision to brave Araneta Coluseum, with the mad fans all lost in awe and worship. It was pretty uplifting!! It also helped that I was with my college buddies, the most game and fun people you can be with during concerts!!

Well, of course, it started with a few hurdles. Lost tickets, rerouting due to heavy traffic, verification of affidavit, and finally, lining up to get good seats. Araneta is the best concert venue in terms of securing yourself with good seats and a pretty good view.

I did not vomit the whole day, and good thing, despite my excitement, I showed no urge to do so there at the concert. But as fate would have it, I missed the historic entrance of Curt Smith in the half complete Mad World Intro. Had to go to the bathroom.

Yup, some songs were not sung, Change, Mothers Talk (one of my faves), and Advice for the Young At Heart, probably, you just have to rely on your Video Hot Tracks Memories.

I remembered my two older sisters and how much fun it would have been for them to see this. And I missed them terribly. I still recall the Top 10 songs that we used to watch, somehow despite our big age gaps, we had something in common. But like our laughter in the car with my college buds, no matter how far we want to stretch the time, we just simply enjoy a beautiful night and resume our daily tasks.

Great to see Ely Buendia, too...:)

Hoping for THE CURE!!

Bed Rest

2010-04-21T17:02:00.002+08:00

It has been three years since I got pregnant. Somehow, motherhood overshadows the dark memories. This pregnancy, however, turns out to be more delicate than my first. Age, probably? Anyway, I dont remember spotting when I had Ava, and now, its like it is part and parcel of my first trimester.

Gosh, I have not had a life for about two weeks now, I have developed a fortress, forever in my bedroom. Watching Brothers and Sisters (I am almost up to date), reading to and with Ava, trying hard to enjoy every minute. But yes, I fail from time to time. I worry, sometimes, because I throw up almost everything I take in (lost 5 lbs since I got pregnant), I feel weak, and helpless. I miss going out, working out, living my life.

But then again, I have seen the baby in my womb. And despite the bitter taste I am struggling with, this baby is very strong willed and stubborn. And seeing his/her heart beat in that black screen, I get inspired to fight all the negative stuff I deal with, all the stuff I worry or dread. I hope for the best, that this child will be strong, and healthy, and for all that I have offered as sacrifice to make his/her life better. Hopefully my challenges will make this baby better.

Another Day, Another Destiny...

2010-04-01T22:43:00.003+08:00

I guess my last race, Run United, will be the last. Good bye to running for now.

Hello, bed rest, spotting, and A NEW BABY!!:)

Its all worth it, I know. The 60 lbs. I accumulated from my first, and now, how many more? But, I am hoping to be more careful now. Especially since I am 34, and my body is not as agile as it was 3 years ago. Now I am yaya less for the Holy Week, I have no choice but to get my butt moving. Anyway, since I am ordered by my OB to be on bed rest, here are some things I have kept myself busy with...

1. DVD marathons. Yup, since the plan of doing my first marathon will not happen in about 2 years, I bought some movies to get myself engaged. I have watched Nine (mixed reaction: okay but overall quite forgettable), An Education (I liked it, I thought Carey Mulligans performance was notable, and the movie could REALLY happen), my usual shows: Modern Family, Project Runway (which I recommend!! Better than last season!!), Greys, Gossip (Chuck Bass, hello!!), and Brothers and Sisters.

2. Mommy Dearest, Well, I have to attend to Ava, so sometimes I do lose my patience. Sorry!! But I am so fixated on her thighs, thinking Im making her lihi.

3. Avenue Q: just watched it and thought it was hilarious...

Well, while Im still in my first trimester, I also need to rest. Hoping I find a fun activity while lying on my back...

Running The Run United Race

2010-03-12T17:13:00.002+08:00

I thought last Sunday was the most organized race I had ever been on. Yes, it was packed, yes the route had been previously run, but marshalls that had megaphones, abundant drinks, the markers, even claiming freebies without the hassle of lining up was just unbeatable. I got my results the next day, and true enough, I did not do a sub60 in Century. The route was too short, which was the fault of the uninformed marshalls. Anyway, running 10k was a thrill for me. I did not walk at all. And it also did not hurt that I saw Aga Muhlach behind me, only to finish way before me. And the late but speedy Rovilson.

I dont know if a race will be this good or even better. But in my mind, something this expensive can also be worth it.

Anyway, I am getting a little bit more ambitious and I feel like I want to do long runs. Hopefully my knees wont rebel against me.

Family..

2010-03-02T22:29:00.002+08:00

I am hooked on a new TV series, Modern Family. It''s hilarious!! It's about three connected families, and as the title explains, these families are not the usual kind. Anyway, known to be a comedy, I find myself in tears as the episode is about to end. Perhaps because beneath the different exterior or set up of these families, the issues are just plain universal. I am a parent myself, and I feel that despite how busy and dysfunctional families turn out to be, there is still respect, love and care for each member.

Anyway, speaking of family, my heart goes out to the family of the late JP U. I did not know this young man personally, but his sister is my daughter's teacher. The situation did not even call for any connection for anyone to feel the loss. Such a young guy, only boy in the family. I cannot imagine how the parents are feeling right now. Sorrow, anger, shock, you name it. I attended the wake teary eyed most of the time, and yet I never met him. Anyway,Ｉam praying for his soul and his best friend's too, and for the family for God's grace. I am trying to explain to my daughter, but the deepest thing she can comprehend is that it was something sad and that the brother is now in heaven, up in the sky.

After a Year...

2010-02-22T16:16:00.002+08:00

I have to thank my husband for this. He was the one who pushed me to join my first race last year. On my birthday. It was the Happy Run, and from then on, I was committed.

Yup, for someone who is totally non commital, I chose to stick with running. The good and the bad times. The patient times, the competitive times, the frustrating times. The good and bad races, the accessories, the blogs, the websites,...

Yup, its been a year...

I guess I have gained a lot since then. One is that I dont need to join all the races to run. After joining so many last year, I have decided to be smart this time and just join those that I find meaningful and those that promise to deliver a good race. The last two races I joined were Race and Shine (For Autism, 5k), and since this was very personal to me (my 30 year old brother is autistic), I miraculously broke 40 and set a new record. I had tears in my eyes. I dedicated it to my brother, and like a true angel, he was that wind beneath my wings. And I did soar. That was a beautiful, fun, and intimate race for me. Not many people, but it was well organized. And everyone there thought about the cause.

Yesterday was my first 10k race since June. And I was not concerned about the time I wanted to beat, but more about the quality of my run. My biggest goal was just to finish it without walking. And we sometimes underestimate our own power, and yesterday was a true example. I was late due to the traffic. And gun time showed 1 hour 16 minutes, but my chip said I finished the route, without walking in an hour. My husband cannot believe it, I cannot believe it. But thats the timing chip, and I doubt it lies to please me. So I got more than I hoped for.

Its been a year...

And heres hoping for a half mary before the year ends...

I said hoping...:)

Back to Where I Belong

2010-02-09T17:55:00.003+08:00

Alright. Its been a few weeks, and my last post sounded really suicidal. What that was about, I dont know. A combination of stress, PMS and major hormonal imbalance.

So what has happened since my telenovela episode? Let me enumerate...

1. My Birthday... I turned 34 last Jan. 25, and it seemed like any other day, but I was in a chirpy mood. Pretty thankful for the blessings that I received since I was born. Everyone tried to make the day as special. And I did feel special. Dinner in Korea Garden...Yum!

2. Macao... Shopping wise, I was so bitin. Venetian was a little too crowded, Wynn was a beauty, City of Dreams was a let down. Had a great time with baby, hubby, mom and dad. Coming home was a major challenge. We were delayed because of our boat ride from Macao to HK due to the thick fog, but everything became surreal thereafter. The rocky boat stop, the taxi stand, the wrong terminal, the whole golf cart experience. Definitely one for the books. There was excitement and fear, but we made it!!

3. Back to Running... So excited for the 10k race on the 21st. Of course, my time has not changed at all, but I believe my run has improved tremendously. Although I am lucky to break 90 mins... sheesh. Im sure walkers will even be faster. But what the hell...

4. New Hobby: STYLING!! Suddenly, I am so fashion conscious. It started actually when our old house burned down, and I realized, among others (serious matters take precedence!!) that I had the worst fat clothes, that I only have one life, then improve myself from the inside as well as the out... (thats why I got into fitness, too). Then I fell in love with fashion and style. Dont get me wrong, I still wear dusters and I still do dress down, but my closet has gone through seasonal editing since. And now I read about different styles, clothes that I consider a piece of art (but I still would not buy due to my meager budget!), dressing simply but a little bit more polished, hunting for bargains but investing in lifetime pieces, learning to accessorize, even learning to wear heels. Bottom line, I have become more developed and refined in my style, but my friends have noticed the difference. Well, one whole post I can dedicate on book reviews just on style alone. So watch out for that!

5. On teaching, my calling... I guess its time to work full time, where I really belong. I feel my little girl will be alright even if I start to work full time. I am thankful for my part time stint, it made me realize how much I miss preschool...

So I guess thats it for now. I still have a lot to explore, cooking, sewing...

Tunnel

2010-01-21T20:16:00.002+08:00

It has been so long, and I feel a little weird going public with my life again...

So much has happened... It is 2010. And I have lost a little weight just to gain it back.

10k has become reachable, only very slowly. I have continued to teach, but I realized I cannot stand parent stress. It is killing my spirit.

I know I am a good one, but sometimes, you cannot help but doubt yourself. Especially when you know kids get pressured from these grade conscious, competitive parents.

That said, I am currently in a low state, unable to find fulfillment in what I do. And it RADIATES like a stupid bomb, and for some inane reason it is just so hard to pick myself up.

I guess its one of those days...

I have to snap out of this. Soon...

Can You Really Not Put A Good Talent Down?

2009-11-07T12:26:00.002+08:00

I am watching the last few episodes of Project Runway, Heidi Klums version (USA). Well, this is a spoiler...

Anyway, there is one designer there that I absolutely HATE. Yes. I do loathe her. Irina.

You see she is also the best, and probably the most talented. But aside from this, I am still rooting for Carol Hannah.

Anyway, my point is, is it really okay for someone so talented to be catty and sarcastic and feel everyone is beneath her? Just because the situation calls for her to be indispensable?? Does that give anybody license to look down on other people?

Call me judgmental, even to myself. There are many times in my life, I felt I was good, and maybe so good that I felt I was an expert, until some incident leaves me looking stupid. Law school, college teaching, personal fights,etc. Even in my physical appearance. Someone said my skin was soft and smooth, until the acne took its sweet revenge and started hanging out on my face, leaving its marks for good.

The point of my sharing?? I guess we need to be on our toes. Yes, we are gifted in many ways, but that does not give us license to feel the whole world stops just because we are no longer part of it. In my case, these many changes in my life tells me that no matter how good or talented I am on a certain skill, things will suddenly pull you down to remind you about humility, respect, appreciation for others. Talents and gifts are not only to be flaunted, but also to be shared. And please, let us remind ourselves that these are just given, they can be taken away...

MAybe that is why I hate Irina, because I see my self in her in some way (and it isnt the talent I am talking about)...

Is It All About The Money??

2009-11-04T18:16:00.002+08:00

I am really disappointed with the Adidas KOTR results, or lack of...

Is it really just about making a profit, and leaving your customer, client shortchanged?

I also belong to the services industry. And I too can be guilty of just concerning myself about what I can gain from something... What is in it for me and all that...

But we are built to inspire people, not just take from them. When someone pays you to do something, the very least is to deliver, but the noble thing to do is go beyond.

That is our duty.

Yes, we do not get to please everybody, but if we work hard and we do the best we can, it radiates. And although there will be complaints, these are raised with respect.

Well, enough said. I dont want to sound like a bitch again...

God and His Mysterious Ways

2009-10-27T15:17:00.003+08:00

Things have a way of turning out. Plans reveal themselves in their own good time. This is what I felt these past two weeks.

Here I am, waiting for prospective students to tutor, quietly enjoying my free time, when God has called on me again to serve the academe.

It is not that I am jaded. On the contrary, I have seen too many twists and turns in my 33 years of existence.

But I do believe in miracles.

And so, I am back in the academe. After one week of thinking it over, demonstrating and lifting everything up to God, looks like I am teaching again.

This time, I know, everyone wins.

Things I Have Learned From The Recent Events

2009-10-03T14:28:00.002+08:00

Life is always about lessons learned. And realities highlighted. After the whole Ondoy experience, these are some of the truths I have realized...

...That first and foremost, I had been lucky...My only huge challenge that day was being stranded from 11 am to 6 pm. I had no money, and the only thing I was to do was get my sisters medical results. Suddenly, we could not go home since the roads were impassable. But that was the only thing that we had to face. When I saw the videos and photos on TV, I realized how spared I was from this...

...That because I was lucky, it was my duty to help... What I saw in Marikina, even here in Pasig was like remnants of a war which we obviously did not win, death toll rising, many missing persons, children being driven by the floods, how could anyone sleep seeing them this way? I had to do something....

... That in every tragedy, and an act of generosity, there are people who are overcome by greed... People controlling what to give, whom to give donations to, people selling the donations to others. It is just sad...

... That in spite of this, we cannot afford to be jaded... It is better to give our service with the possibility of being taken advantage of than not to help at all, a looter who has gained is better than a victim who deprived of assistance...

... That we are all responsible for this... YOU and ME, our poor stewardship of Gods gifts, our abuse, our negligence...

... That miracles do happen... Pepeng did not hit Metro Manila to add insult to injury. It is now time to pray for the other towns hit by this calamity...

Ondoy

2009-09-27T10:45:00.002+08:00

I am praying for the victims of the flood. All of us have been hit by this. It is tragic, heartbreaking and devastating. Something we will never forget, but something to learn from, too.

But life does not end here. And we all must continue to fight, to live.

I am praying for strength. I know that God never abandons...

TV JUNKIE

2009-09-25T21:50:00.002+08:00

Yup, I have always been a TV Junkie. Gosh, from the time I was old enough to watch Sampaguita and LVN movies after school, to Heredero and Yagit, to Pinoy Big Brother (First Season). From The Love Boat, to Dynasty, to Knots Landing and Falcon Crest. From 90210 to Melrose Place. I am a true sucker for telenovelas, soap operas and different series. Now, well I cannot say that choices are better, but I take time out to download episodes from these shows. So here is my list of guilty pleasures...

1. Project Runway (US) Sadly I was not able to catch the Philippine series, but Heidi Klum and Tim Gunn are my constant favorites. I like this show because the drama is just restricted to creating beautiful dresses. When they bitch about others, it is really based on their performance as designers. And oh, those creations they make are such work of art! That for a time, I thought about making my own clothes (haha, in my dreams)...I love this show because I love looking at clothes made from scratch, newspaper, what have you. So interesting...

2. Greys Anatomy ...I downloaded the first two episodes, but I have yet to see if they live up to their hype. Last season was not as great as the previous ones, but each episode never fails to make me cry. Whether it is about love, or reality, I still learn something from this show, even if it gets a little cheesy..

3. Gossip Girl...Haha.... A 33 year old housewife like me should be into Desperate Housewives, but no. I LOVE this show!!! It allows me to just relax when I watch this, not to think too much, and enjoy the scenes (pretty girls, pretty dresses, gorgeous men!) The show can be influential in some ways, I mean sometimes, it is just a little inspiring to be as scheming as Blair and Georgina!

4. Mad Men.... Hands down, my ultimate favorite for this season. I loved it the first season, the second, and I always find myself begging for more. The whole sixties theme is just amazing, and maybe it is me, but there are just so many metaphors, hidden issues that one can pick up in this show. It is poetry and history meticulously woven in an advertising agency, and in a nuclear family. It is so engaging, although many of my friends find it a little too dark, or boring. But the sight of John Hamm, lighting a cigarette? My week is almost complete...

6. True Blood... Sad but the season just ended. LOVE this, too. As I wrote in my status in facebook, after crashing on True Blood, I just cant take it in small doses. I can watch 3 episodes in one sitting... and I can hold my pee, too... drat, cant wait for the new season...

Getting Comfy With The Treadmill

2009-09-21T09:56:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, I made a good decision.

As much as I enjoy running on the road, I decided to do my very first 60 minute run on the treadmill.

How did I find it?

Boring as hell, looking all the time at the numbers: speed, time, grade, trying to get distracted by the many tv screens.

But fulfilling because I know my average pace, the distance I had run, and the calories I burned.

I burned about 420 calories, ran a little over 7k, and my average speed was 7.5 to 8. My grade was 2.5.

Quite slow for others, but for me, this was a pretty good job done!

Imagine, I ran for sixty minutes!!! Woohoo...

Now let me attend to my shins....

Hoping For A 3k

2009-09-18T08:29:00.002+08:00

Drat. I was not able to register early for the New Balance Run for Sept. 27. I am left with a possibility for the 3k run. Lesson learned? Register early...

That aside, I realized I have been enjoying my runs in my moms village. A little flat, but it gets the job done. My shins have finally accepted the fact that they will frequently be used (and abused?) and so the pains are slowly disappearing. Another chapter in my running life?

The Heat Is On In Saigon!!

2009-09-15T22:35:00.005+08:00

Ten Unforgettable Things About Ho Chi Minh

1. Their new and progressive airport, reflective of their new and progressive city (iwan na talaga ang Pilipinas...)and their ubiquitous MOTORCYCLES..

2. Our sweet and gracious host, Liza....Love her, love her!!

3. Bhen Thanh Market where you can get the most beautiful embroidered everything... bags, scarves, shirts, shoe bags, wallets. These designs are so intricately made...

4. Vietnamese coffee... iced, three in one, brewed, condensed, they are really, to die for...

5. Vietnamese food... Pho 2000 where this restaurant was visited by former President Bill Clinton and they make the best seafood noodle soup...

6. Quan An Ngon, an old but charming place that has different stations a la hawkers. Their wrap and roll vegetables with the rice paper rolls are not only healthier but delicious as well!!

7. Saigon Square, like our very own Greenhills that sells export overruns of all brands (MNG, Adidas, The North Face, to name a few) Even I found shirts my size!

8. The Notre Dame Cathedral built in the 18th century. Its exterior is timeless, and in 2005, the statue of the Virgin Mary reportedly shed tears...

9. The Post Office and the Opera House, both splendid even at night, with lights comparable to Shanghai...

10. The Remnants of War Museum... where I shed tears of sorrow, too. After seeing the Vietnam War from their perspective, (I grew up watching Nam Tour of Duty and a little of China Beach), it goes to show that NOBODY WINS in every war. Everybody LOSES... The Agent Orange is the most painful reminder of this.. and I hope our world will not have to see something like this again....

Well, to my husbands dismay, we were not able to visit the Cu Chi Tunnels. But this is enough reason for us to come back someday...:)

Terrible, Terrible Two

2009-09-02T15:48:00.003+08:00

Well, recently I noticed my 2.5 year old daughter has been acting up. Screaming at the top of her lungs, refusing to follow authority. And it is and will always be a major challenge to be over and above and beyond her tantrum to control her.

Sometimes, I just give up and make MY screams louder. And the temptation to inflict corporal punishment is there, but I try my best not to give in. Other times, I just talk to her and say, "I know you are angry, but you can't scream that way. I will talk to you when you are ready(calmed down)."

It's a really tough role, motherhood. Because you are responsible for the life of your child. Every episode of neglect will be reflected someday, and I am so afraid of that. We look at people and even in studies, they show that a major factor in one's behavior is how that person was raised. Family values. And so I have taken this responsibility, I hope I get to fulfill it.

Well, just venting out my frustrations...

Unrequited Love?

2009-08-31T20:43:00.002+08:00

It was a month since I joined a race. The last was when I bitched about Run For Home. Yesterday, with a little more conscience and patience, and what I call loyalty to my alma mater, I joined the 5k fun run of Dean's Cup in UP.

Well, of course, I didn't do my assignment (stretch, striders, etc) so I ended up panting in the first quarter of my run. Duh, bad shape indeed for me. As I mentioned in my previous posts, I cannot seem to speed up in 5k, and this has become my barrier in joining 10k races.

Anyway, this afternoon, I tried to do baby steps of a recovery run in my village, and perhaps it was because of my massage (which was more of a hilot), I felt pain in my shins, thighs, and even on my butt.

Which makes me realize that I love running but it does not love me back.

Don't get me wrong, I am in no depressive state now, not even lamenting. It is a fact of life for me. I am, and will always be, a beginner in the sport. I do easy 5k runs for some people and I gasp to breathe. I practice, and I ache. As early as now, I feel so much "birth pains" in running. My coach says it's natural to feel these pains since I am a beginner. And as such, I really have to be patient.

I honestly think running does not love me back, because as early as now, I am faced with these challenges (pains, very slight improvement in my time, very slight improvement in my weight), but it doesn't matter, really. I can't go moping like a busted manliligaw right? It's really up to me, if I choose the path of courtship and persistence, or I totally give up and choose another sport....

What's it gonna be?

I choose to be persistent, and maybe in a few years, like a loyal and worthy suitor, it will realize the passion I have, the dedication and commitment I am willing to give, and maybe someday, it will begin to love me, too.

Remembering Lex

2009-08-29T11:02:00.003+08:00

I just remembered my friend Lex. It was his birthday last August 21, and because he passed my mind a couple of times, I have decided to write about him.

I was probably 5 years old when my sister and I, and probably my cousin were walking along San Juan Street in Noveleta. If my memory is right, Lex was one of those rascals who tried to throw pebbles at us. But, his father caught him, and so he was reprimanded in front of us.

Fast forward to summer of 1989, I was going grade 7, my mom decided for us to take tennis lessons in a resthouse, Lex's dad's tennis court.

And just as predicted, Lex, who was about 17, was a heckler and a jerk while we were awkwardly trying to learn the perfect tennis form (I told you I am obsessed about every form of every sport). My older sister Treena could not stand him after a party where he made her bakod. I thought he was a dork who was KSP, and my cousin Chet was being teased to him, since they were almost the same age.

Well, after a while, we had no choice but to talk to him. Turns out this guy was like the biggest playboy in our town. Conyo kid from a school in Alabang being friendly with the whole first district of Cavite. And these girls absolutely loved him. And his undeniably beautiful dancing eyes.

I never had a crush on this guy. Thought of him more as a big brother, but our closeness only strengthened maybe starting June-July, when we all had to keep a secret from him...

I still remember that afternoon at the tennis court, he had just come from a pestering cold and cough which refused to leave him and the doctor, and also told us that he passed out when they got a sample of his blood. We were teasing him, and he was adamant on having his 18th birthday party in that rest house, like many of the parties in Noveleta.

Well, a few weeks after, he did not only NOT have a party, but he was also stricken with Leukemia, and had to celebrate his birthday in the hospital. His parents decided not to let him know, and because of boredom, he started calling friends, including me.

I cannot remember our conversations very well, probably his long list of girlfriends (simultaneous) and teasing me to our neighbor, but I remember all those times he was in the hospital, not knowing what was wrong, for a few minutes, I got to entertain him, to amuse him. I knew I reminded him of his very young sister, Diana (although the resemblance ended there-she grew up to be beautiful...) and I knew during those moments there were happy and fun....

Until he was already in critical condition and lost his voice, and two days before he passed away, I got to hold his hand without showing him my tears, trying to be strong while he struggled to say something when all that came out were moans of pain and frustration, and knowing too, that death was to come while he was still full of life. His dancing eyes piercing our hearts, his dancing eyes still fighting until the end...

It's been 10 years, and each time I dig this memory in my chest of unforgettable episodes in my life, I cannot help but cry. From May to October, God had given me the chance to be a part of this person's life, to love him like a big brother, to be with him like a friend. And when I do say a prayer for his soul, I also know that despite his wisecracks and antics, his heckles and teases, I also know that he is in Heaven, watching over us....

The Travel Bug

2009-08-14T12:21:00.002+08:00

Initially this blog was about a mom sharing her insights and experiences while traveling to different places. I realized I have not written so much about it, since my interests have changed. I started to write about running, about my personal life, my insights, my beliefs, skeletons in the closet(dasters in the closet) and what have you. Which makes me confirm I really have an active (if it could travel, it would have gone around the world-in a few hours!) mind, and I take so much inspiration in the littlest, most mundane things. And call me narcissistic, I get to entertain myself a little when I reread all my posts.

Well, anyway, I want to go back to my main purpose. Which is traveling. I have some destinations I plan to conquer, and yes, I will try to include running in them. Next week, hopefully I will be posting something informative and hopefully entertaining...

So stay tuned.

Cory...

2009-08-08T11:31:00.004+08:00

I was 7 years old when I heard the news of Ninoy Aquino's death in 1983. My family went to their Promesco Building along South Superhighway to watch the procession of his burial. At that time, all I had in mind were Barbie Dolls.

I lived to see the People Power in 1986. In grade three, just turning 10 a few months before, I had to deal with my own juvenile depression. Up to this point I still cannot remember how and why I had such, but I could vividly recall the daily masses we had in our village in Valle Verde, and my sisters together with the rest of the choir singing Bayan Ko. An ordinary lady under extraordinary circumstances was elected president.

I lived to see this president, trying her very best to get it together to be honest, truthful, bringing all the ideals she carried for her husband to save the dead Filipino, the hurt Filipino, the degraded Filipino. She became a hero.

Now this hero is dead, and I have lived to see all of these. The injustices she voiced out. The graft and corruption she refused to accept. And now, what? I am now a mother myself. My daughter and her generation did not get to see these struggles, these battles that this woman and her husband fought to make my daughter's life better, my daughter's country better. What happens to the future of our land? What happens to us, those who witnessed the truth? Those who are hurt, scarred, jaded, callous?

I have no answers to these questions. But I do sympathize with Kris when she wailed her feeling of abandonment, now that her mother is gone. That is exactly how I feel now, as a citizen. I don't know where to look, and where to go from here. I am also lost....

But I also have faith....

Fancy Meeting You

2009-07-27T19:38:00.002+08:00

I am just wondering, if it is only my sister Kathreena and my best friend Bru who are reading my posts, how the hell did the numbers reach 500? Every time I open my blog, it does not count, so, I am really guessing (accusing?:))...

Unless my husband Rod secretly clicks every 5 minutes...

Hanyway...I am so excited to transfer to our new place... we are going through the motions (packing, unpacking, sorting) and I look forward to the life I will live in that place, with my hubby and my little girl...

Doing It Fast Vs. Doing It Right

2009-07-24T07:32:00.002+08:00

I woke up this morning to my husband's voice, telling the helpers that I would love what he was watching. I caught the last few minutes of great run, 10k, and these runners finishing the race at 33 minutes...

I have not even reached the part in my life that I could finish a 5k in 33 minutes, what more a race that is double in distance, but all I can say is that I have been running for about 6 months now (tomorrow, officially), and I have run 4 10k's, and quite a number of 5k's. And I have hired the help of a coach who totally changed my (wrong ) form and made me go back to the demanding intensity of the 5k distance, slowly but surely.

Slowly but surely.... a very used yet taken for granted kind of line. Especially by me, an impatient, ADD-stricken, results-oriented person.

This line is extended in all aspects of my life, from my running to my career, which I have decided to "give up" for my family. This line is extended to my own finances as well. Well, there are days wherein I imagine how different my life would be if I were a corporate hot-shot, or a well-known teacher, or a pioneer in the field of reading, or a public figure in the running community. My time would probably be so busy, I'd be so in demand...I'd be ubiquitous and omni-present... And I could buy anything I wanted (sorry, I'm a sucker for purchasing power!)

But my daydreaming stops because, in spite of my restlessness, my eagerness to reach my goals, I am grateful for the slow but numerous opportunities to enjoy my family-my supportive husband and my growing 2 year old toddler, my slow but developing runs, my teaching abilities (I tutor kids now, which lessens my missing teaching). I may not be employed in a big school at the moment, but I live to hear my daughter's laughter when we play. I may not be doing my marathon very soon, but as small as my Kenyan steps, I know I will get there. I may not have everything I would wish for this very moment, but I know I have everything I need.

Nothing more, nothing less. Just right....

Run For Home

2009-07-19T12:12:00.003+08:00

I'm going to be a bitch.

Was it the disposable timing chip that drew me towards this race? I guess so. I'm thinking why didn't I get turned off when there was a whole fiasco on the online registration? I first registered and I got a P500+ price for doing so. I stopped. And then on another day, I got inspired again and registered. Hassle-free this time.
The claiming of kits was also pretty hassle-free.
But come race day, it was just a little too much.
I only registered for the 5 k. Yes, using the chip was exciting. Fine. But apart from the fact that it started on time, it was a pretty disorganized race. I mean, I have never seen so many runners taking more than a few seconds to stop for water. Usually, cups are all over, with water already. Here, goodness, with only about 2 water jugs, runners had to line up, to get water. That should have been taken care of, no matter how many participants joined, right?
Another was a really horrible scene I witnessed. As the 5k runners were going up Lawton avenue, we were inevitably met by 10 or 21k runners coming back. Yes, a little collision from time to time. The lane was just too narrow. I saw the 21k runners (or were they 10k) bumping into the 5k ones, which in effect may cause an unnecessary accident. And as I mentioned, this was totally unnecessary.
I finished late again. Unofficially 41 mins? I'm okay with that. But what I could not forget was that there were long lines in getting water. I badly needed water since I had to pass up those chances due to the long lines. But until after the race, long lines again?!! I thought that was kind of exasperating!
PLUS! Were there freebies? I didn't bother to line up. The line was just too long!!
Imagine, you're so tired already, and you have to line up for water, and then for freebies...UNNECESSARY STRESS...
Anyway, I was very disappointed with this race. Hope this does not happen again.

Running With My Best Bud

2009-07-13T10:11:00.005+08:00

Itago na lang natin siya sa pangalang Bru. :)

I remember I registered for the two of us as early as mid-June, just so we could practice running together. However, the weather was never kind to us. Every time we set a date, there came the downpour. To a point that we were both so pikon already, feeling we had jinxed the weather just by declaring a running date on that particular day.

Anyway, Friday before the run, we were a little lucky to run together. But still, after 2 rounds in my village, the rain angrily let itself go, seeking its sweet revenge, leaving us bitin.

Last Sunday, forgetting all my essentials (i shuffle, setting my watch, my running cap), I went to my best friend's house. And we went to the Fort together.

It was Bru's first time ever to join a run, and she did so, almost dragging me.

You see, Bru is a natural athlete. Since we were kids, she was already a sprinter. Long, strong legs and long, strong strides, she was bound to finish the 5k route fast and quickly. But as the rules stated, thou shall stick with thy buddy, from beginning till the end.

I, on the other hand, am a slow runner, re-learning my technique, breathing heavily and carrying my whole weight around. But as the rules stated, thou shall stick with thy buddy, from beginning till the end.

Actually, the whole experience of running with Bru made me remind of the friendship we have maintained through the years. She a fast runner, obviously taking the lead, but adjusting her long strides to level with me. I, a developing endurance runner, but still asking every now and then if she was okay. Even if she is the stronger one, I try my best to be right behind her, so anytime she feels like stopping, she knows I have her back.

The run reminded me of all our episodes of obstacles and challenges we had to face in our lives, no matter how difficult, we were with each other, sharing stories that reached the point of silliness and therapeutic laughter, knowing that underneath these silly stories we would share, it was really each other's presence that really counted.

The run reminded me that albeit how differently we were woven and created, we choose to stick together and respect each other.

The run also reminded me of how competition was never part of our equation, it was to give and take, to share a piece of ourselves without truly compromising oneself, to adjust when one is in need, to also move forward.

I teased Bru yesterday that she enjoyed being a turtle for her maiden 5k run. Of course she cannot call this her very first 5 k since our time yesterday was not a true reflection of her peak performance.What happened yesterday was just an unforgettable episode in our friendship. I will have to let her go as she joins her first 5k alone, but I will definitely be behind her (maybe not right behind), like a gust of wind, proudly pushing her to do her very best, and applauding her triumph, because she truly deserves it...

Needless to say I enjoyed yesterday's run. :)

Sick Little Ava

2009-07-09T21:09:00.003+08:00

Drat. My 2.3 year old toddler is sick. A little feverish, and with a cold that would not come out.

I hate it when this happens... because I see her difficulty in trying to sleep, and any day, I would trade places just to ease her pain...

I just hope she gets well soon. A while ago she was really exerting effort to smile and say things I could hardly understand. But then her eyes said it all...

Random, Incoherent Thoughts On Michael Jacksons Memorial

2009-07-08T16:57:00.004+08:00

I do not expect anybody to understand this, but I just had to write them down as I watched the memorial service for the King of Pop, Michael Jackson....

sadness... grief... pain...piercing... sharp...loneliness... missing someone big... missing someone special... honor... glory... remembering my uncle who also passed away too soon, and how God was so kind to him... understanding but not fully understanding Gods plan... poor children so young... Gods gift...unfathomable...weakness... strength... sorrow... family... my childhood... music ...love... respect... to understand...

to finally let go...

A Gym Date With My Husband

2009-07-04T12:53:00.002+08:00

It is common knowledge that I really hate the gym. Ever since I started running, my resistance to the gym got more intense, because I felt that I did not need it.

Of course I was wrong. It has been almost six months, yes, some of my clothes fit, but what about my arms when I poke them? That's my karma because whenＩwas much younger, I would play with and jiggle my mother's arms, right in the middle of her sermon (of course, not to me, or she would not have let me touch her!)

And now I am just waiting for the day Ava is mature enough to realize her mother's arms can be a source of amusement/entertainment, and so I have decided to take concrete steps so that day will forever be avoided (umm...lipo from THE Belo Group?)

SO! I enrolled myself in Slimmers' World, which is attempting to revive its "The Place To Be In The 80's-90's" (for the gym buffs, for the party goers, was it Faces?) but my reasons were different: a rainy day wherein I can't use the road to run... but I guess, I have not made full use of the gym's equipment.

The very reason why I hate going to the machines in the gym is that I don't know how to use them. And yes, it's my pride that stops me. I feel stupid going around, scouting for a possible trainer and trying to send brain waves to let them know I'm in the dark when it comes to those machines. Of course, those trainers give me the look that means "no pay, no teach", so I just totally give up on them, and promise myself to just ask my husband who loves those machines to give me tips.

Well, good thing my husband had free guest passes for the weekends at his gym. And so this morning, he and I visited Eastwood, and yes... I conceded saying their gym is newer, modern and the equipment is just state of the art compared to the modest place to be during the 80's-90's. I did some 30 minutes of cross training, from treadmill to bike to arm bicycle and cross trainer) and then my husband was just ever so happy to teach me a few of the machines. He was in his element. In fairness, I did enjoy them. They made me feel a little empowered, and my shoulders, arms, abs and back were challenged.

At least for my gym, I won't look that dumb trying to figure them out. My husband taught me a few tips that I can brag about. But I do look forward to my visit to my husband's gym, too. Though he may never understand my passion for running, I may begin to understand his penchant for weight training.

I just hope my arms will get leaner before my daughter discovers the joy of jiggling them. (I'm sorry, Mom, for all my faults...:))

Giving In To Temptation

2009-07-03T12:33:00.002+08:00

For about two weeks now, I have been cutting down on my carbs. I eat brown rice, but recently, I have been measuring them (1/3 cup, and then another 1/3 cup - it's psychological, so I feel I had two servings..), which is now 1/4 and another 1/4. I also cut down on my sports drink, since my training program only demands 30 mins of Kenyan running on the pavement. I don't feel my weight has changed, but some of clothes have started to become a little loose.

Until the other night, when my friends and I went out. They were talking about what to eat at Chili's Restaurant since they had a business meeting there. I realized it has been a long time since I had eaten in that resto, to think that was one of my favorite places to hang out. I immediately suggested Ground Peppercorn Burger, one of the best for me (salty, spicy, crunchy, juicy!). The thought of that left me almost drooling yesterday, and I could not let go of the idea that I just had to eat there. Good thing my husband who also misses the place agreed.

And so we ate there last night. I tried to be conscious by ordering wheat bun, but man, I ate the whole burger all by myself!! It wasn't even the "not breathing while eating" experience. I really savored every bite, and for about thirty minutes, I was in burger heaven. I did not think of how this would affect my arms and tummy, and I did not allow myself to feel guilty. And for some weird reason, I was so so happy....

Well, today is another day, and I was thinking, it doesn't feel so bad to allow myself to give in to these fleeting moments of temptation. These moments are not always allowed, since it's so expensive to be eating out all the time. What I like about these moments is that after I give in to them, I know I need to bounce back to the disciplined life I want to live. I don't need to be so hard on myself (I used to regret and hate myself for being so matakaw and overweight, and and for being addicted to junk-food ) because I feel I can trust myself to bounce back.

I guess I'm beginning to be more positive towards my own self, which I think is one of the hardest things to do...

To The "Man In The Mirror"

2009-06-26T09:30:00.004+08:00

I just arrived from training today when my husband told me the news... Michael Jackson is dead...I gasped in disbelief, trying to comprehend what he said. But then he asked me, why was my reaction so exaggerated?

Let me clarify that part. I was shocked, and my exaggerated reaction was sincere. But Why was my reaction "exaggerated" anyway? He's not a relative, but somehow, all my life, I cannot think of my 33 years without the existence of Michael Jackson, the King of Pop.

Yes, he became infamous for a lot of weird things he had done. But that was always my thing with Mr. Jackson. I could separate his personal life from his professional life. Not that I supported him or defended him, but it was something I could totally ignore, from one end of the pole, here is a "whacko", they say, but the other end, here is truly gifted artist, who touched so many lives and made special memories with his music, who could blow you away with his moonwalk dance and his graceful yet sharp moves, who serenaded us with songs like "I Just Can't Stop Loving You", and of course, "Man In the Mirror", to name a few.

Which makes me feel remorseful in many ways. One, why the heck didn't I watch his concert here when he came to the Philippines?! I had no money back then, I should have borrowed from my sister or something. Stupid me...
Another, his last days on earth were all about bankruptcy, etc. yes, these are things that need to be known, but during his last days here, I did not read any article (not that I was following his life), about anybody honoring him as someone who shared his talent, and yes, made this world a better place (in one way or another).

Makes me realize we are not perfect. That even if we inevitably do bad things, we still have redeeming qualities, talents, etc. I just hope that in this cynical world, we get to show our appreciation for people before it's too late.

To you, Mr. Jackson, with "exaggerated" tears in my eyes, I choose to thank you. Rest in peace...

It's A New Dawn, It's A New Day, It's A New Life.... And I'm Feeling...Weird?

2009-06-25T08:24:00.003+08:00

Just kidding. Of course I'm feeling GOOD! Here are my reasons why....

1. A New Home - By a twist of fate, it looks like we are living near my folks!!! Can't divulge until it's a done deal...

2. Jomac's Running Technique - I have been taking it easy and running only 5.1 k (3 rounds), using the Kenyan Run that Coach Jomac taught me. Running in the drizzle is fun while I try to implement the technique. I noticed that my shins are not as painful... and that my energy is really reserved!! Love it, love it, love it! I just hope my speed gets better...

3. Friends - I' m joining the Buddy Run on July 12 with my best friend, Bru. She's a fast runner and I'm not, but walang choice, walang iwanan. :) Sorry I don't like the singlets, but it's a great way to bond with my bestie best friend. Practice days are elusive since it's been raining. One day, Bru... no worries!

4. Thesis - Haha, yan ang weird... Well, I've been reading, but still, can't find the focus to write everything... but one way or another, I'll get you!

Daddy's Day

2009-06-21T14:26:00.002+08:00

My dad's not here now. He's in the States with my mom, visiting my sister and her family. And Fathers' Day is not complete without him...

Since he is not here, I decided to write about him. No, not his usual antics, and famous jokes he would share that made him the life of the party. But two memories I cannot ever forget.

I remember one night my dad, sister and I went walking around the village. I was very young then, and like any other active child, I ran while my dad and my sister walked. Unfortunately, I tripped, and this fall caused me a scar for the rest of my life on my left knee. A small circle like a 25 centavo coin. And I remember it was bleeding heavily. The details of that memory I can't remember anymore, but since we were on the opposite end of our village from our house, my dad made a gesture of carrying me while walking back home. I did not break a leg, or pull a muscle. I only fell and got wounded. And I was big enough not to be carried. But still, no matter what, dad chose to carry me...something I thought was not only touching, but an act of sacrifice from his end...

Another memory I have of my dad as a father was when I was small, he would cut my fingernails. He cut them patiently and very well. You see, I was "lucky" enough to inherit his short, stubby fingers, to a point that everyone in my class would tease me and call my fingers chicken lollipops. But those nice moments when he would carefully cut them, I felt proud and happy, and thankful that I did get this quality from him. It was a bond that we both shared. And I loved all those moments.

I have all other nice, and maybe not so nice experiences with my dad. Like any father and daughter relationship, we do have our tampuhan moments, but one thing about my dad is that he is a very patient person. Not just with me, but with my mom as well. He chooses not to take things against people, which is probably why many people are fond of him. I'm really glad now that I have my own child, my dad and I are closer. And I know having a grand daughter is something he considers as a special gift.

Anyway, shocks, I succumb myself into mushiness again. Well, it's father's day after all.

And so, to my Papa, happy fathers' day and I love you very much! --Wekek

Who's Your Daddy?!!

2009-06-21T07:43:00.002+08:00

Let me honor the father of my child today, my one and only husband, Rod.

Even before he became a dad, he was already called Father. That story, though, will remain among him, me and the rest of the Poveda Batch '94.

Maybe one of these days I will tell that story. But for now, it's Rod, Ava's wonderful dad.

The way I found out I was pregnant was unique. I was having the worst cramps ever. And I asked Rod to take me to the ER, and he did, grumpily. He made up for that after, and committed himself to accompanying me and our baby to ob-gyne visits and lamaze classes.

We did not give birth naturally, but the whole time we were trying, Rod was there, never leaving my side. When I was cut Caesarian section, he was outside, and a cute photograph of him and our round, bloated baby girl was taken.

After knowing Rod for a long time, I knew for a fact that he was not very fond of children. But when Ava was born, his world turned upside down. He looked forward to spending time with our little girl, loves shadow time (when we turn off almost all the lights to condition our daughter to sleep), and now that Ava is learning to talk with sense, he smiles from ear to ear, trying to etch all their "cuento" sessions in his memory.

His cel phone and computer are all about Ava. Ava's pictures, videos, and even Ava's music. It is he who sometimes tries not to forget to buy a VCD of Barney, or who points out things that remind him of his little girl. And I always tease him that his heart melts every time Ava hugs him and kisses him.

Well, mushy as it sounds, I am really thankful for giving Ava a wonderful father. He is not perfect, of course, neither am I, and we have our disagreements regarding how to raise Ava properly. But, one thing is there. His constant love and affection for his precious one.

And I am mighty proud of him.

The Big (Jo)Mac

2009-06-19T11:39:00.004+08:00

Thank heavens, the rain stopped for today's training!

I excitedly parked at the ULTRA and got ready for my first training ever, with Mr. Macalintal (Jojo, Jomac). We were about 6 runners this morning, 2 of us girls (me and Ivy) and 4 triathletes.

Mr. Jomac was very friendly, but no dilly-dallying with him. We started warming up by swinging our legs side to side, feet flexed. Quite new to me.

He then divided us into two groups, and we girls parted. He laid out what looked like a flimsy ladder, and all our drills were based on those small boxes that ladder created. My group was asked to do two 400 meter rounds, and for some dumb reason I just could not keep up with the guys.

I didn't know Mr. Jomac was observing my footwork, and so he mentioned I need to change my heel strike, and the speed (yes, someone answered my cry of help!) But before we could change my form, drills first.

The drills were really, really crazy hard, but fun! What differed this training from the Nike Running Clinic was that (of course, here you pay and you are not as many), we had to run hitting our glutes, tinikling dance, hop, skip, all confined in the boxes of the ladder. Major coordination challenge for someone like me! Dancers and small feet must have an easier time here. It was major burnout that the ladder of about 3-5 feet and the drills made me lose my breath.

Then, he taught me the basics of the Kenyan run, something like bolting, you run baby steps, but make sure that when you land on your foot, you push it right away. 1-2-3-4, 1-2-3-4. According to him, I need to strengthen my legs. I followed obediently.

He made me do the baby steps on the ladder, using it as a base for my rounds. Really cool. The pre-existing pains on my shins were slowly disappearing, because I was not using them in the wrong way.

Oh, and my arms. At last, someone showed me the correct way to swing them, arms not swinging from the waist, but up, up on your chest. USE THEM, for God's sake!

The training lasted for about 2 hours.

Hopefully I get to master the technique.

My first long run on Sunday, one whole hour using my baby steps.

Of Blogs, Runs, and Races

2009-06-17T10:38:00.003+08:00

Takbo.ph had a very good point. They conducted a survey recently on how many races do runners join on the average. I am a logged-in member of takbo.ph, but I failed to answer the survey. If I had, I would be in the category of 3-4 races per month.

Which makes me realize, oo nga no, after reading blogs and takbo.ph's reasons for the low number of races joined, they have a point, which now I think is detrimental to my growth as a runner.

Let's remove the cause factor of the races.

I had been joining 10 k races lately, to gain endurance. It all started with Ivy, a former parent in Poveda, fellow Povedan, and a fast runner. She encouraged me to run for endurance. But my training for that is really bad, it turns out, 10k is the longest I have run ever, meaning my race becomes my training ground (inevitably). The 10 k is my LSD, since I have no time to do a longer run in the middle of the week. Which explains my panting, slow movement, lack of training, and knee and calf pains. In other words, these races have become limiting in my growth. Yes, I have gotten faster in terms of Personal Record as more races are joined, but have I become a better runner?

Nope, don't think so. After almost giving up last Sunday.

Sir Jinoe has a point. It's not just the cost (which I agree with, as an unemployed wife and mother who needs to finish her thesis), but there is a very limiting factor in joining races. So what if I had finished the 10k? What happens next? Is it just shorter time, or is it also about building endurance, maybe speed, and improving one's ability to run?

Lately I have been reading the runners' blogs, and it's true, maybe some of them are quite technical, but, I realize that I learn a lot from them. Not just tips on how to be a better runner, but also the passion that they have for the endeavor. Their human side, the struggles. Yes, I am quite far from their progress, I don't even know some of their acronyms. Their mileage makes me dizzy thinking about how I will ever relate to those numbers, but reading their posts, their stories, made me realize that I should not limit myself to only this, a beginner, a jogger, a slow 10k runner, but they give me encouragement as to how to be open to other opportunities to love the sport more, to be better at it. Even to love myself more, not just accepting my limitations and weaknesses, but by embracing and opening those doors to make myself a better me.

10 k at PTAA, UP Diliman

2009-06-14T08:35:00.000+08:00

It's my first time to run a 10 k in my alma mater. My 5 k runs here were always challenging. I don't know, but maybe because my feet are not of equal length, I could really feel the unevenness of the road. Anyway, the typical Runrio event, a loud emcee, with booths on the side, the works. I warmed up by running around 200 meters, and started to sweat profusely.

Positive Split

When I heard the gun shot, I said to myself I was going to do this fast, and just slow down after the 2nd half of the run. I was running with my former parents from Poveda, Rory and Ivy, they were much faster than I, but at that time we were all on the same speed. Until Ivy soared.

I was still running, imagining myself running fast, until my mizuno bullet water bottle fell from my hydration belt. This startled the runners behind me. I picked it up, losing my momentum, and then my eyeglasses fell. This altogether left me pissed, and frustrated. My positive split plan just became a split altogether.

After gathering my self, I decided to run again. But I tell you, it was just difficult for me to jog even. I lost touch with myself, getting pikon and telling reminding myself why I joined 10 k instead of only 5. I was slowly getting disappointed, watching all the other runners run or even walk past me.

For a long time, I could not recover. I just kept walking, drinking, holding my bottle, restrained. I felt bad because my eyeglasses really broke. (Much to Rod's dismay when he found out). I was thinking in my mind how this might be my last, pushing myself too much for this when I know I cannot excel.

The sad part about the route (which had changed last minute) was that I had no idea how many km's I had already run. I have not been to many races, but I have been to enough to see these posts, saying 4k, 5k, etc. I was kind of depending on them, to strategize my run in a sense that I was going fast in one k, and just take it easy in the other kilometer. Oh well,. So much for that. Following blindly, I walked/jogged till I reached 7 k, letting go of all the ambition to run fast.

Just giving up.

Slow Recovery

Like all episodes in my run, I started getting conscious about my journey. I figured, hey, my playlist was playing slow music, and I had to look for the "inspirational" ones. Well, no fail, Come On Eileen started playing and I started picking up, there at the university avenue, and then U2's All I Want Is You became pretty dramatic but intense. Then at the anti climactic turn, I started talking to myself.
And praying.
Why didn't I notice how beautiful the trees were? And why was I not enjoying this very blessing that God had given me?
Like the Meek Runner (who always inspires me with her humility and appreciation), I offered the last kilometer to God, and just surrendered myself.

And then I started running. Slowly at first, but steadily.

I left all the walking runners and just told myself, I had so much to give, but I will control. Control. Control. Like a long slow distance run that I always enjoy.

Runners, bikers started to occupy the oval. So many of them.

I was so near the finish line when I found myself smiling, almost crying in anticipation....

Ahhh.....finish line.....

The coaches from Nike Running Clinic greeted the finishers. And I was relieved. And happy.

Here's to a new pair of eyeglasses!!!! (I can see Rod's angry face now....)

School Orientation

2009-06-13T12:12:00.000+08:00

This morning, my husband, little girl and I attended my daughter's school orientation. My daughter is 2.2 years old, and since she gets bored at home, we decided to enrol her in the school my sister Jus teaches.

Anyway, we brought her along so she could get used to the place. Turns out after 2 hours, she did not want to leave. She loved it so much. I'm just hoping she won't get separation anxiety, or hurt her classmates, or hurt by classmates as well.

So excited for her, and for myself. I am so used to orientations, I used to give them in Poveda, but this time, I am the parent.

As the world turns....

She has a set of uniform already, and a long list of personal items to be brought to school. Hay. It was not so long ago when I was just learning how to breastfeed her, and learning she was a colic baby. Now, for two hours, she leaves me to enter her own world where I play no role in it.

Do all parents feel this way?

Or just the dramatic actress in me?

She is slowly weaning herself from her dede (milk), and now I realize it's me who cannot adjust. Or who is doing it anxiously..

Until when does a parent call her baby "her baby?"

Anyway, this has no coherence whatsoever...

Just random, but valid thoughts...

Mom and Dad's Little Girl

2009-06-12T12:32:00.000+08:00

My parents left for the States last Wednesday. I had been putting it off, but now I guess I cannot deny the fact that I miss them. A day never passes that there is no phone call from my mom or dad, or from both. For me or for my little girl. Now the phone hardly rings.

And I miss them terribly.

But I know that they will enjoy their trip because they will be seeing their 3 cutie grandchildren.

Which makes me realize how much I miss my sisters, too.

Oh well. They are just a plane ride away...

Miracles

2009-06-10T08:26:00.000+08:00

Yes, the Sisa in me has emerged once again. Just last week, I had my generous share of bitching about my circumstances, about the depressing rain, about where to transfer all the drama the I have always had. (This drives my husband crazy, but between you and me, that is what attracted him to me in the first place...Joke!) Anyway, like a wheel that turns, I am in my up again. And this entry is all about miracles. My fault, even the most minute things that happen in my mundane life is still a miracle, I just dont appreciate them. So, in all humility, I will enumerate those beautiful gifts God has designed for me the past week....

Mizuno Infinity Run. I was so happy to see a sunny Sunday morning. No sign of rain, or drizzle. The road was on the verge of getting dry. And so, I ate my peanut butter sandwich and drank my water and off I went to the Fort.
This time, my 10 k run was much better than my Auto Race Review Run (wherein I was the last runner). I loved running up the Buendia Flyover, seeing nearly a thousand people in groups, or alone, loving the sunshine and the wind kissing our happy faces. I saw a few running celebrities coming back while I was on my way to Makati Avenue, and people started smiling back at me. I guess I was grinning stupidly for no reason at all.
There were happy embarrassing moments, too. I had a former parent who was anxious about her first 10 k, saying she was just going to walk the whole time. I figured her walk was more of a gallop, she finished way ahead of me (nakakahiya, diba?).
I also saw my former boss, who introduced me to Takbo.ph people. He's right, I was so hesitant to join the picture taking, but that's how it starts... Good thing I got to talk to him, since he gave me very helpful advice, which leads me to my second miracle..

Second Wind Store. Although I had a great time at the Mizuno Run, there was something that really bothered me. My 5 month old running shoes. My right toes were already feeling pain due to lack of wiggle room, and I had to adjust my knees to this pain. I walked during the run numerous times, but I guess out of will and joy, I still tried my best to run. But, I knew I had to give up the shoes I had trained with for 5 months. My beautiful Mizuno's . My former boss Rico suggested that I see Mr. Hector Yuzon of Second Wind Store to consult about what shoes would be right for me. And so yesterday, I went with a budget, open to the idea of buying new shoes, just so my feet would not suffer. Mr. Yuzon was very polite (even when he was holding my dirty, worn out running shoes!!), and told me I was wearing shoes that did not support my over pronation (to the unititiated, it just means I run with my feet almost knock-kneed) and so he suggested certain models. After a test run, I went with New Balance 848.

A New Home. The most important of all my miracles I guess is this. My mother in law found a nice place for us, a bungalow a little bit farther than Valle, but the space was a winner. We were initially choosing between this (4 bedroom house 400 square meters) and a 3 bedroom condominium behind my mom's house (130+ square meters). Yes, we will be farther from my mother, but we'll be nearer my mother in law's house. The difference lies on my daughter's happiness. The space the more distant house provided was essential to her, as she is getting quite restless in a shoebox where we now live in. That feeling of uncertainty and homelessness? They disappeared the moment we saw the bungalow. Hopefully we build a happy life in our new place...dream big dreams, maybe have another baby... well, we'll see...

So, there. I guess this time I end things on a positive note! Thank God for all the blessings!

Rain, Rain GO AWAY!!!

2009-06-05T16:47:00.000+08:00

I never liked rainy days. They always reminded me of summer about to end, school about to start...a broken heart, and of another quarter of uncertainty. I went back to work in the academe and I started feeling that cycle. Now, I am resigned from work, I can feel the sadness manifest in different forms.

Running for example. Yup I loved running in the rain, but I now get scared. As a wife and mommy, your life is no longer your own. As much as I want me time, there are just so many factors that you lose your grip and let other things take a hold of you. I have a 10k run this Sunday, and so I am literally begging the Lord to spare me from being last again... or just to let me enjoy my Sunday run. I only did around 5 k this week, my fault of course... but still...

And our future. Our land lord has told us to move by July 30, where will we go? It is like first week of school all over again. Meeting new people, going through the motions... so physically and emotionally draining! Argh... I hate emptying boxes only to find no space for their contents... or looking at a place you have loved due to force of habit, and letting it go... like a sad funeral.

Yes, I know... my blog says lets get positive, but there are times that I do succumb to this morose feeling... because these are also the times there is no one who can help me but God, and also I am in my most vulnerable position, and that I get to produce something good after (a blog entry or what have you...). And I guess these moments make you realize how good it is when you are up, and how hard you have worked to reach it...

Coron, Coron, Coron!!! Part Two

2009-06-04T07:46:00.000+08:00

That night, we ate chicken a basket in the restaurant called Old Town. We also ordered spaghetti. And aside from the fact that it takes almost 45 minutes to cook your order, one thing I learned was to bring toys and manipulatives for my (manipulative) daughter. The waiting time did not only upset her, but it upset her father more...

I never mentioned our room in Village Hotel. Since the walls in each room were made of pawid, on the first night, the sound of the TV from our neighbor was blazing that we could not sleep. We politely knocked on their door (with my daughter tagged as my props), and requested if they could lower the volume. One thing about Coron people and visitors is that everybody is courteous and polite. The service people, the boat men, vendors, tricycle drivers, and the guests. Your accommodation is their priority.

Day 3

My husband realized that he had booked one day extra, since he planned to go to the farther islands. But, just so you know, it costs around P3,000 to get to those islands because 1) you will need a bigger boat, and 2) everyone is hesitant due to the strong winds. So with a heavy heart, we just spent the morning of our third day buying souvenirs for our family. My yaya, daughter and I rode the tricycle to get to the souvenir shop, and got ourselves crazy buying wallets, necklaces and bracelets. Not bad the price! I also bought dilis for my parents and kasoy (their number one product). The kasoy was really expensive, but worth it.

We knew better and asked my husband to preorder lunch in our own dining area. When we got there, food was already ready. But Rod said, they survived a mini tempest, the winds blew the table setting and even broke a glass. Anyway, there was something we truly liked about our own Village Restaurant. It has lots of pictures from different journeys, and a chandelier with all the souvenirs from different travels. Really interesting...

After lunch Rod bought a prosperity statue from the souvenir shop in front of our lodge, and a few souvenirs for his family. We also bought a small light house (there are lots of them that they sell). I bought Ava a shirt. That afternoon, my husband and I had merienda in Bistro and their pizza was just wonderful...

That afternoon, we hired a tricycle driver for P250 to take us to the famous Maquinit Hot Springs. It was a 30 minute ride, which we all enjoyed seeing the beautiful view of islands and the calming sight of the blue waters. When we got to the Hot Springs, we saw the same guests we had been seeing in town. Of course, Ava did not like to immerse herself in the water, so she and her yaya just waded in the "kiddie pool". My goodness, the water was H.O.T!! But after a while, you get used to the temperature. TIP: wear slippers or aqua socks. The floor is rocky, and there are sharp edges. Plus, there was so much lumot....:(

We went home all soothed and calmed, and we ordered again from our restaurant and ate so much. After Ava was put to sleep, Rod and I went back to the restaurant for our yummy fruit shakes.

Day Four

We hardly had enough sleep because there was a brown out. And since the walls were so thin, we could over hear a new set of guests (chattering women) from the other room. My husband and I could hear their conversation and we started laughing when we heard one of the women FART OUT LOUD!!!!! Yes, the walls were so thin indeed.

One challenge we had to face in Coron was the rationed water supply. There were times during the night when water supply was down.

Day 4, after eating breakfast of fish, we said good bye to the beautiful town of Coron and headed for Busuanga Airport. We were glad to back home, but we we were also thankful we got to see the beauty and luster of Coron, and Ijust hope that it will not be abused in the future...

http://www.flickr.com/photos/avarl/sets/72157616292679412/

Coron, Coron, Coron!!!

2009-06-01T09:07:00.000+08:00

Last end of March to beginning of April, my husband gifted my little girl with a trip to Coron, Palawan. It was a few days before she was going to turn two and we wanted to take advantage of her free fare. Because of that, her dad decided to bring her yaya Donna May, who was going to fly for the first time.

Day One
We faced a few obstacles here and there. The first was that I was an idiot to forget my ID. When I realized I had left everything with my mom (including my license), I could see Rod's face already, so so angry. You see, my husband's obsessive compulsive disorder is manifest in traveling. He gets really upset over things that skew from the original plan. This he really considered (me, too) an unnecessary hassle, so he was already frustrated.

Since no one could bring us to the airport, we had to take a taxi. It was a fun ride as Ava fell asleep on the way. When we got to the check in desk, it was a good thing I realized about my ID when I was still in the house, because Rod would have killed me. So I had my license, marriage certificate, Ava's birth certificate, too. And then we were all set.

Our plane was delayed (as always) but when we got to Busuanga Airport, it was pretty scary to land on a place full of mountains. Busuanga Airport was very small, and when I just took a few minutes in the bathroom, we were already the last party.

We rode a van to get to Coron town proper. It was a 40 minute ride, and Ava and I welcomed it as an opportunity to sleep. But I still stole a few moments to look at the beautiful scenery. Trees, mountains, and very few buildings. Until we got to Coron.

My initial reaction towards Coron was that it really reminded me of our province, Zambales. Their pride, the restaurants that were featured in a few travel websites were quite small. Our hotel was Coron Village Hotel, and we had a shabby room with three beds and a bathroom. It was like backpacking 101, but with a nearly two year old toddler.

Rod and I decided to leave Ava and her yaya to take a hike to get to Mt. Tapyas. We took around 720 steps to get to the cross above, and Rod and I were already panting by the time we reached the top. No regrets, since we had the best view of the whole island right before us. And on the other side was a pleasant view of the fields.

That night, we followed the trip advisor's tips and decided to eat in Bistro Coron, a small restaurant that served Western and Italian pizza and beer. Ava was really tired and was having a fit, but we managed to eat yummy food. The thing you have to remember is that it takes at least 30 minutes to cook your order in Coron, and that set up was not appealing to a toddler.

Day two
We had breakfast in our lodge, and it took a long time to be served. I had tocilog and it was okay. We had to prepare for our island tour. Rod already contacted a boat man through his cousin who also hired him previously. The price was P1,500 and we had the whole boat to ourselves. We paid extra P500 for food that they were going to cook and roast.

We met at the market and they had food prepared for us already. It was very challenging to carry Ava to the boat, but by God's grace we got to transfer her there. She refused to wear the vest we bought for her, so the whole time her yaya and I took turns in holding her closely. We on the other hand wore our life vests.

Our first island stop was the Siete Pecados, 7 tiny islands where snorkeling was the recommended activity. The current was crazy due to the strong winds, and so it was just Rod and I who swam. The fish and corrals were BEAUTIFUL!!!!!! The big challenge was trying to use the mask because the water was so strong. I almost panicked because I could not go back to touch the outriggers. But after a while, we went back to the boat and paid an old man who paddled his raft with ease for the "maintenance fee."

Then we got to Cayangan Lake. It was a major challenge to hike up alone, but to carry Ava? My yaya and I were so dismayed. But, knowing it was going to upset my hubby, we tried our best to hike up and go down to the lake. There was a beautiful spot where you had the view of the islands... and it was breathtaking. ...Pictures here and there, then we got to the not-so-salty lake.

And my daughter did not want to swim...

I shrugged her off and just enjoyed the water... so soothing for me, but I had to admit it was very deep, and so I had to be careful (though I am fat, I am a sinker)...While my hubby enjoyed snorkeling, I took pictures of the beautiful scenery. We were not alone, around 4-5 groups of adults (yes, we were the only ones who brought a toddler) quite adventurous enjoyed themselves and sat on the rafts.. and I realized that Coron was indeed for the single, adventurous market. Perhaps the market of Boracay but in its old, virgin form.

Thereafter, we ate at one of the huts shrimps (which I almost finished), liempo, a big fish（I forget the name but it was huge!!) and a boatma/carpenter's share of rice. It was yummy and we had a great time. Even Ava was not so fussy, eating liempo and sky flakes.

We could not visit Twin Lagoon since the tide was high, so we went to a small white beach instead. It was called Atwayan beach, and it was quite tiny. Ava still did not want to swim, but we got her portable tent (the "apple house") and her tools (shovel, etc.) The "Hanging Amihan" was pretty strong (it was nearing Holy Week). The problem with that island was that it was so small, the parked boats were about to bump one another. After a while, my family and I settled to go back home.

Horror Show
A little sad for not visiting the Twin Lagoon, my husband reluctantly rode the boat as we passed by the Skeleton Wreck. Good thing my daughter was about to take her nap, and so that left me and my husband time to do snorkeling and swim to see the famous ship.

It was pretty interesting that the ship was still visible underwater. According to stories, these ships were sent from Japan to battle during World War II. The wreck, the fish, corrals, they were all just beautiful...

Going back, it was a good thing my baby was asleep, because the winds were so strong, and the waves already entered our boat, which made me and my yaya really hysterical!!! Looking back, one very important lesson learned is that you should always, always wear your life jacket, no matter what!!!

(to be continued)

Nike Running Clinic

2009-05-30T09:22:00.000+08:00

It was my second time to attend the Nike Running Clinic. I willed myself to brave the traffic last night so that I could join the runners in Bonifacio High Street. Well, I was not disappointed.

We had our first two rounds (big) from the Nike Park, encircling the whole high street. Of course, the slow runner that I am, I got late for the warm up stretches. No regrets. I met a coach who politely explained to me why I feel pain in my quads and knees.. because I was overweight. Hehe, as if I didn't know that...then he gave me tips on how to develop speed. Thank you, Coach (I have yet to know your name).

We were about 16 students, and I never spoke to any of them (I am shy, you know). But the stretches, the experiences we shared in the difficulties of the drills made me bond with them. No words spoken, only the feeling of frustration taken lightly. One challenging drill was running with your knees hip level. The uncoordinated woman in me could not find any rhythm in crossing the line with knees up, feet flexed, and arms moving like a bicycle. I found myself totally challenged.

Since it was my second time to join, I knew better than to wear shorts. I wore a pair of mid calf jogging pants, which made me more relaxed and less conscious of what I didn't want the world to see.

The last 4 small rounds were hard for me. I had to walk 30% of the way, since my legs were overused. The drizzle was also getting more pervasive. After my 4th round (6th to the advanced who even finished before I did... can you imagine me scratching my head?), we stretched some more and cooled down. Then we called it a night.

I called it a lovely night...:)

Finishing Last

2009-05-26T16:55:00.000+08:00

I joined the Auto Review 10 k Run last Sunday. Little did I know it was going to so memorable.

First off, I didn't estimate the difficulty of Mc Kinley Hill. Shocks, the first two km were challenging already, and the second they said go, I knew I was going to be the last....

It was a slow run for me, since I do not practice sprints (yes, I know I should). I was getting tense seeing everybody in the other side while I was still making a u turn..

But I chose to let it go and have fun. Until I encountered a fellow runner (male), who cheated by making a short cut... Well, the last one to finish and all, I said to myself I would have to do this fair and square.

When we got out of the Heritage Park, the heat was scorching. I just smiled at the marshalls, they all probably thought I was so super slow, but I really didn't care. What mattered was that I was going to finish it.

I had two policemen behind me, and a marshall accompanying me to the last kilometer. They were really patient with me (it was my race after all). And when I got back, my goodness. They announced me as the LAST RUNNER!! I just had to be a good sport and took my cap off in acknowledgement. I knew someone was still behind me, but I was "lucky" enough to pronounced the last man standing....

My official time was around 1:35, well, others (even my husband) found it embarrassing, but I thought it was a special experience. And I know I have to look at it this way, so that I can make y runs much better. I don't want to get humiliated, angry, or engage in self pity. No room for that s#*t. I'm just glad I experienced that kind of fanfare...:)

ADD, Oh You Know Me!

2009-05-08T11:53:00.000+08:00

I really don't know how my husband can love me. Really. Before we got married (in 2006, far, far away in the island of Mactan), we had been together for almost 10 years. Yes, breakups here and there. Arguments, etc. etc. But really, I find myself wondering why the hell he could stand me?

No, this isn't my love diary and all. It's just a point I am trying to drive at. You see, I was never diagnosed to have ADD. But I feel it in my heart that I do. The signs are all there, even screaming at your face. I have all my things scattered, and even these objects laying on my big table have a wide range of topics, from my MA in Reading, to my new found hobby or business which is embellishments, to sewing, to being (or wanting to be) a fashion artist, to running. Shocks. Sometimes even I cannot find the right path. And obviously, I cannot be led to salvation.

I've now noticed about myself that I start things with a high level of enthusiasm. Example? Law school, Sped, Reading, Tutorial. In hobbies? Sewing, now embellishing. In sports? Badminton, boxing, swimming, and now running. I cannot stay loyal to one. And I hate it that down the line, I cannot master anything. Any thing.

It's really a shame. I feel that in the middle of my striving hard to reach my goals, I give up, or I lose interest. And I cannot find it in my physiological makeup to find the strength to maintain whatever interest. Oh well...

That's why my MA is important to me. I do need to finish something you know. I am about to be done with my practicum, and it's the thesis that I just cannot hurdle. I am really, praying so mighty hard to finish it. Not only for my title, but also to remind myself that despite this difficulty I know I have, I can overcome it.

Well, good luck to me....

busy busy busy

2009-04-28T17:59:00.001+08:00

It was just a month ago when I felt a little empty. Guilty. For not doing anything except eat, sleep and watch Gossip Girl and all the Oscar nominees. Now, I'm in the wild world of my practicum in UP, with a pale attempt to finish all my unfinished master's degree business.

It's really hard, you know. The program we are in is quite intensive, and with its condensed lesson plans, I feel myself losing control. I cannot calculate my time, I sweat beads in front of my students, and after my second session I feel that there is always something wrong with how or what I am teaching.

My daughter is also shortchanged here. My attention to her and her dad are divided now. That sometimes, I catch myself thinking about all the things I need to print instead of listening to my husband's cuento. And my daughter? She kind of knows that early in the morning is Mama Work time. How sad, sad, sad.

But, as I say how hectic and harassed I feel (photo-finish), there is a big part of me that feels excited and fulfilled. It has been more than a year since I last taught in front of children. And bragging aside, it's creepy to realize I do have that gift of connecting with them, that I have not yet lost that passion to teach. Every child is still a life to reach out to, to touch. And I still feel this tremendous amount of responsibility for each one to learn.

I keep telling myself I will give my children (well if another one will be coming, I only have one for now) a few years before I work full time again. But I am also scared that I might get impatient and restless, and so I am thinking of meeting my and their needs halfway. I probably will tutor (to apply my MA) and will think of another racket (a preschool maybe?). Well, we will see. But I have to finish my MA first. Oh, why is that so HAARRRRD??

Training for 10k

2009-04-22T16:27:00.000+08:00

I have been running since January, my birthday. From Happy Run, I just kept joining 5k races, and of course, I never win. I started with 49 mins, now I am down to 40 mins. Yes, a big difference, but I feel that my speed is not picking up at all. I have joined the following:

Happy Run
DLS Run
Dare To Care
Doc Fit
Condura Run
Pinay In Action
Slimmerun

Only in Pinay In Action did I run from beginning to the end. So I am really a beginner in this kind of sport, but by God, I really love it. I get chills from watching people all running and trying to convince themsleves that they can do it, including me. I know I look kinda dumb running, but I don't really care. I feel like a child who is given a favorite toy....

Recently, I have made a decision to train not for speed but for endurance. I felt that I needed to challenge myself, and maybe, if I lengthen my distance, speed may just improve. Yesterday, I ran 6.6 k in UP, for about an hour. My husband said that's so slow, but I was really proud of myself, because I did not think I was going to last that long running, no walking at all. So I guess I can see baby steps in my improvement. I am just hoping my knees are strong enough for me to reach my goal...

My Daughter's Birthday

2009-04-05T21:42:00.000+08:00

It was my daughter's second birthday today. I started the day with my training, an easy 3.4 k run, and greeted my sweet Ava a happy birthday when she awoke. We had a really simple day today. Went to mass at nine with her lolo and lola and ninang, I treated the family to Mc Donalds and Ava indulged in french fries, rested in the afternoon but attended a 7th birthday party of Rod's friend's daughter. After, we ordered pizza and ate in her Lola Nieves' house, where everyone doted on my little one.

Gosh, another year. I am so thankful that Ava is healthy and strong, well a little too headstrong, but I am glad that I am with her everyday, and now she is attempting to sing and talk in sentences, and climbs up the stairs with more confidence (and more fear for me). Well I cannot help but feel excited, but at the same time scared as she has now entered the wild world of the terrible two stage. All the crying, and the tantrums, and I definitely see a big difference from how she was when she just turned one and now that she is two. She used to be so clingy with me, but now she prefers her yaya's, that in a way makes me feel horrible. Well, I know I should not compete, but should instead be glad that so many people love my daughter.

Anyway, I hope that someday, she may be able to read this message I have for her:

Cutie Pie, I love you very very much and I am so thankful God gave you to me and your dada- Mama

Love love love my baby.

EraserHeads Hangover

2009-03-08T14:16:00.000+08:00

I am so lucky I got to watch Eraser heads last night. I went with my UP friends, and we braved the MOA (with its crazy traffic) and paid P1,300 for a very memorable night such as this. Well, so sad we were not able to witness the first set, but hell, we were there for the FINAL one! Here's my list of memorable events that transpired that night...

1. The production was very very good, with the cameras for each member for peasant audiences such as us who could only compare their actual sizes with our fat fingers... I loved the whole effects of blue and hazy when they sang Spolarium... thought that was totally captivating. And the fireworks were overwhelming, too..

2. The band sang Magasin as their first song, which engaged the audience right away.

3. I realized I didn't know all their songs, but I had fun listening to them. Some even reminded me of Simon and Garfunkle and the Beatles' Sgt. Peppers' Lonely Hearts Club.

4. ELY BUENDIA WILL ALWAYS BE MY COLLEGE and FOREVER CRUSH... (I am really wondering how I can stalk him....) My God, when he sang Kailan with the spotlight on him, hands on his pockets, and the lonely piano playing, I thought, how come I never attracted rockers in my life? Drat.... I loved his first look, his pink polo with a bitin tie, aviator shades, and wind blown hair!!! Makes me want to go back to college again....

5. Their whole acoustic set was a little awkward, until they sang Pare Ko. Loved it when finally, Ely said Tang Ina!!! Woohoo, I thought that was a hoot. They looked more comfortable this time, so maybe there is a chance of reuniting????

6. I loved Marcus' reggae version of Wag Mo Na!!! He brought so much comic relief...

7. Raimund reminded me of the Prodigy.. I forgot though what he sang but he was a hoot!

8. The tribute to Francis M when they sang the chorus of Kaleidoscope World was touching. I mean, why was it so timely that Francis M had to pass away the day before their concert? Looking back, I remember the EHeads had a concert in Studebakers that our organization in college handled. They sang SuperProxy and in the album, Francis M really rapped one part of the song. We were so surprised that Francis M appeared in fundraiser with the Eheads to rap his part of SuperProxy, and stayed to enjoy drinks with the band after... God bless his soul... He was such a beaming ray of light to all of us....

9. They sang Alapaap, one of their very best songs, which they had already done in their previous reunion concert... Now to my husband's dismay, I can't stop singing the papapapapapa.....

10. AAAAAHHHH!!! They sang Minsan, a song that I really find sentimental. I remember years ago, ABS CBN had this commercial about congratulating the graduates of 1994, that was my high school year, I saw the whole campaign and I noticed as they flashed pictures of graduates, they played that wonderful song. It really reminds me of my youth, of UP, of friendship. I also realized that it was their song, that once in their ever dynamic lives, they were ones such good, good friends... And their break up in the past did cause a feeling of personal loss. Because for me, they can't really survive without each other, right?

11. Ely set the piano on fire!!!!

12. Talk about jamming!!!! When they said good bye, and we were all lining up, they appeared again and sang 3 for the road... This I will never forget, Ligaya (my "acquaintance" with the group), Sem Break (my first sem break in UP), and Toyang (my undying love for Ely-mwaahahahha!!) My friends and I will never EVER forget that...

Well, those are the only things I remember. I hope they realize that they can't succeed without each other, it's as if they need each other to make it work, right?

Sunset, Sunrise

2009-03-03T08:47:00.000+08:00

It's 8:45 in the morning and I am wondering why my baby girl and my husband are still asleep. I thought I was the hog, well, it looks like my daughter inherited this "gene" from me. Anyway, I woke up at 8 in the morning, and I realized the fact that I am a pretty nocturnal person after all.

Well, not really, oh.... well, if you were to ask me, my favorite part of the day is when the sun sets. Yup, that's it. Why? I don't know. Maybe because sunsets mean a lot of things, first, my passion for the beach. So beautiful to see faces touched with shades of red, orange, and yellow, and everybody smiling and having a great time. The sunset is a sign of a day well spent (working), and the promise of an evening of unwinding. I think that's where the "happy hour" was based, right? After a hard day's work, here comes time to enjoy and relax. I find it really sad that many companies demand so much from their employees, that their employees hardly see any daylight because of their heavy load and dreadful deadlines.

Since I prefer evenings over mornings, (I swear, sometimes you see me in the morning with my mouth open, staring blankly), I choose to sleep at around 10-11 pm, surfing the net, watching E news live, only after I have successfully put my daughter to sleep. There are nights when I choose to stay up late, ignoring the feeling of drowsiness, for what? I don't know. Wala lang. Tamad matulog. Kind of dumb, right? Because in the middle of the night, I have to wake up and go to the bathroom, or change my daughter's diaper, or prepare her milk. And then I regret my laziness to succumb in slumber.

Nowadays, though, since I have incorporated days for races, I am forced to wake up at 4 am on Sundays. My eyes are still half closed, I change into my singlet and my running shorts. I really hate it that the world is still dark and quiet. I feel like some thief trying to escape from the stillness of early morning.

But because of these races I get to see the mysterious side of the sunrise. I tell you, it's equally beautiful as the sunset!! The skies from their black tones, become grey, then dark blue, and dawn starts breaking in, and streaks of white and yellow appear, and before you know it, the ever changing sky becomes periwinkle, and the world evolves into one that we are used to. It's a weird feeling because I hate waking up so early due to lack of sleep, numbness, and all that crap. But when I see this, I also get the feeling of achievement that this occurrence is an everyday mundane thing, but I am only one of the few who gets to see it unfold. It's like I am led into an open secret, and I get to enjoy its hidden beauty.

Though the beauty of the sunrise is tempting, i you were to ask me if I will change my lifestyle to witness it some more, I don't think I'd do it. It's in my system already to sleep late and wake up late. I know that to appreciate something this magnificent, I would have to do it rarely, so I won't take it for granted. It's like the secret to a lasting friendship, you see your friend in small doses. That way you don't breed any contempt due to familiarity.

In Defense of The Daster

2009-02-26T12:17:00.000+08:00

Haha. I was thinking a while ago about what I was wearing. A duster/daster... (well, I'll write it the way I say it!). Yes, the baclaran/divisoria hit that makes almost all middle class matrons feel like it is their best friend. My sister Treena always says that she will never be caught dead wearing one, and she resorts to her nighties worn even during the day... (ha, same thing, only hers is silk!:P). But is it that makes me and other moms feel they are paralyzed once they step out of the house wearing the deadly D anyway? And why do I still continue to wear such horrendous, figure unflattering tents? Here's my not so intelligent analysis of it...

Dasters somehow give a real portrait of the Filipino matron. Losyang, ika nga. Yes, I am guilty of that. Like my mother, when I get home in my skinny jeans and my pale attempt to look hot in a sexy top, the first thing that comes to my mind is COMFORT. I am one of those who are obsessive compulsive about their beds, I never lie on mine unless I wear something fresh and clean. And because I am tired from the outside world trying to make porma, I choose to pull out something that is loose, clean and comfortable. With one piece, I am decent and covered up to my calves, unlike shorts and shirt, I have to wear a bra, put on my shorts that don't even close when I'm full (which is all the time)!! So I guess the daster is something we choose to turn to....

Yes, a Filipino matron has many facets. One of them portrayed in many movies, a yelling wife to an inebriate and infidel husband, one that uses rollers for their hair but never takes them off and a newspaper for whacking flies and disobedient children. Something of a caricature... ridiculously funny but creepily true... And the daster is a reminder of some of us about our own personal household dramas that we don't dare share with anybody. Something to be kept in the baul of our memories, unearthed only in our nightmares (or when a gun is already pointing at our heads)

Another point to observe is that everyone, even the Catholic Church who is all about simplicity and meekness reminds us wives to look beautiful and presentable for our spouses, and so where does the daster fit in the picture? The daster that has no glamor, is billowy and totally tacky with the lapu lapu prints and the gumamelas and the tie-dyes that even killed Woodstock (or Victor Wood)? Come to think of it, it does take away whatever attempts we have in trying to look like a Heidi Klum or an Angelina Jolie.... and maybe that's the cause of husbands' cheating, I don't know.... and in some situations, maybe it's the daster's fault that husbands tend to look the other way at some sexy and bodacious babe... maybe....

But then you can't blame the daster, you know. For all its lack of visual presentation and possible causes of marital woes, it can also compensate for a happy, contented wife, and a flexible mother, braving the domestic challenges such as cooking, playing with kids, cleaning, etc. For me, the gumamelas and the tie-dyes also remind me to relax not just my body but also my mind, to believe that in a very small part of this world, I can just be myself, no false appearances, no porma, no nothing, and concentrate on other things... When I'm in one, no, I may not step out of the house, but come to think of it, heck, maybe I should, because no matter how beautifully made up and polished I want to look in front of people, I am also real, imperfect but happy and contented in a comfortable kind of way. I mean, after all, I AM a Filipino matron... (but I'll save the rollers for special occasions...)

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A Not So Typical Valentine's Celebration Part 2

2009-02-25T08:42:00.000+08:00

Sorry for that...bitin ba?

Anwyay, we were at the Siem Reap Airport, which seemed to represent the mood of the whole place, quiet and tranquil. What a small but beautiful airport that was! I felt our own domestic airport was miles away from theirs in terms of cleanliness, and professionalism... ahem.

Rod decided to book Mr. Lee Ann for the day. We first went to the hot air balloon place. Going there in our airconditioned camry was such a beautiful experience. We could feel the heat intensify outside, but we were distracted by the many beautiful trees in Siem Reap. Watching the tuk tuks, motorcycles and the bicycles under the centuries old trees was a memory to keep forever.

Our hot air balloon ride was $15 each, which shocked Rod since his last information it was only $10 (how prices change so quickly). We rode with some Asian tourists, and I had a tickly feeling in my tummy! The balloon ride was just vertical, only to view Siem Reap from around 100 feet above. We enjoyed it, though. The vastness of the Angkor Wat was breathtaking... how could they build an efficient water system that long ago? And then the famous Phnom Bakeng could also be seen.

After pictures were taken, at around 10 am (Cambodian time but 11 our time), we ate in a restaurant near Angkor Wat. Mr. Lee recommended it to us. These restaurants are like hawkers that are arranged in one array and it's up to you to choose which adventure you'd like. But they're all the same... I ordered my beef loc lac, which Rod chose a more western meal. Well, it was ok. But the fanta was fantastic! Haha. One tip you should always remember is that you always have to hydrate yourself in Cambodia. And a little sweetness in your liquids won't hurt...

Before going to Angkor Thom, the biggest city in Siem Reap, I bought myself a simple but practical souvenir- a hat! Of course the vendor was trying really hard to jack up the price with $4, I bought it for $2 (drat, I should have haggled my first price at $.50). It was a very helpful souvenir since the heat in Cambodia was scorching, but I looked like a die hard Cambodia tourist.

We got to Angkor Thom's South Gate, and already, Rod and I had our mouths open with the careful detail of the arrays of gods and demons greeting us. (I chose to pose with the demons, like attracts like?) My husband's eyes were getting white again, and he was in a picture-taking trance. I, on the other hand, posed willingly for him. Nothing beats seeing posing for a happy husband, right?

Bayon was a stunner... Many enigmatic faces that in your mind you are wondering how on earth could they build such structures! I posed trying to kiss one enigmatic face, but my chin was protruding.... I got lazy to

God Listens

2009-02-21T17:24:00.000+08:00

I had been a little bit down for some time. You see, I took a leave of absence from my teaching job last year, a privilege I made use of. My reason was because I had to finish my thesis. I had been taking my MA for almost seven years now, from Special Education, to getting units for my license, to shifting to Reading (good choice for me). Anyway, that was only one of the reasons why I took my leave. I felt my daughter Ava needed me. And I guess I was right.

2008-2009 was a year for me with no income. Also for some reason, my tutorial stints were short-lived, and I personally had to face financial powerlessness (well, teaching is a noble profession, it' s the fulfillment that is the compensation, believe me). But this year proved to be very productive, nevertheless. I got myself a cheap but reliable lap top, a sewing machine, a few personal items, and even got to travel! I maybe lucky in that aspect, and I realized that God really protects and gives me what I need, not more, and not less.

I told my school I want to go back to teach, but the moment I did that I knew it was not right. I reluctantly accepted the full time post that was open for me. But I did it with a heavy heart. I knew that it was not fair to Ava. As her mother (I don't want to be praning), I thought I still need to be with her constantly, as I have to put her as my top priority above all. I received a lot of opinions regarding the matter. Sayang my discount for Ava when she starts going to school, Ava's big already, what about my financial power, et. al. For about a month, I had been, unknowingly, suffering from a mild case of depression (I use this loosely, though). I felt that I was dreading the month of May, leaving Ava with a heavy heart as I go back to my 7-4 job, feeling guilty for not taking care of her when my whole heart was telling me she's my priority.

Anyway, yesterday was my lowest point. As I was pushing her stroller, I thought to myself that going back to my school for 8 hours, 5 days a week was wrong, but I was too scared to tell my superiors that I made the wrong decision. I really prayed, with tears in my eyes, for God to take over, as He always has, and tell me what to do. I even told my best friend (who kept encouraging me to resign if it was not making me happy anymore) that night. And I prayed really hard. Because I did want to earn a little, not let go of Ava's future scholarship, but I also wanted more time with her.

That night I talked to my husband, and I really opened up my feelings and concerns. He was very supportive. This morning, I got news from a co-teacher that she was not interested anymore in a teaching position that was open to part time employees. I realized that was my window of opportunity!!!! I immediately called our principal (my good friend, God bless her!) and we talked, and it was a win-win situation after all....!! I mean, I could spend more time with Ava, but go back to teaching, and finish my thesis all at the same time!!!!

Well, the point of my story is this: I had been an idiot for some time, being anxious and worried about the future, about guilt, about being financially empty, everything, but not once did I think that God was with me even during these trying times. I mean, really. How dumb was I to think that God didn't listen to my heart's longings? Right?

I guess God has His way of showing me how much He loves me. It's just up to me to acknowledge....

A Not So Typical Valentine's Celebration Part 1

2009-02-19T13:24:00.000+08:00

Okay, so here I am writing again. Cannot resist. Anyway, my husband is a very simple and private person. Do not ask me how he proposed, but let's just say, if you're a girl who loves the works, scattering of petals and a fanfare, accept him through thick and thin! But there are just some things that he will not compromise, and one of them is traveling.

My husband gave me the best honeymoon one could ask for- a trip to Europe. But I don't want to talk about that now, I'll do that in another post. But valentine's day, a day he does not believe in ("Valentine's is just a marketing strategy!") cannot be more memorable than this one....

Here is a detailed account of our trip to Siem Reap, via Cambodia. Some tips here and there, too.

PRE-PLANNING STAGES
Of course, I had nothing to do with Rod's itinerary. Everything we did was according to his plan. It takes months for my hubby to plan a trip. Sometimes he goes grumpy or frustrated because I don't get to help him out. But one thing to remember when my hubby plans trips, he is like a character from Heroes whose eyes go white and starts painting beyond his control. He is like that, and for many reasons I have become spoiled and ask me anything about making itineraries, I just shrug, hehe.

We decided to take 5 days, and 4 nights, and the most economical way to do this is to ride Air Asia. It had the cheapest flights to Kuala Lumpur and then to Siem Reap (we should have a direct flight!!!!).

With the wise decision to leave our daughter to my mother's able hands, we packed our stuff and headed for the Clarke Field Airport, Pampanga.

Day 1 - Thursday
Clarke Field Airport is much smaller than our domestic airport here in Metro Manila, but I don't want to think that that is the reason for their being more organized. Our flight was at 11:30 am, and Rod was wise enough to order food for us in the plane. By the way, if you have not ridden a no-frills flight, you'll be surprised to see that there is no food included in the low fares. And Air Asia in particular has seats on a first come, first served basis. But surprisingly, people line up and are not so greedy when it comes to getting seats.

Rod ordered a Nasi Lemak and a Nasi Briyani. Of course the spicier one went to me, and so we had to buy a small bottle of water, which caused us USD3.00 drat! That's P150 in the Philippines for a small, 5 gulps worth of water... No choice, though...

After our 4 hour flight, we arrived at the Low Cost Carrier Terminal (LCCT) in Kuala Lumpur and took a bus to the Kuala Lumpur International Airport (KLIA). I admit it was pretty hectic in LCCT because these no-frills flights have so many of them and I believe are doing very well finding its market niche. So impressed was I that I thought, what if I owned an airline like this?

Anyway, we got to KLIA to ride the shuttle to our "transit hotel", the Concorde Inn. Well, the Concorde Inn is what you expect it to be, a budgeted hotel serving its purpose. So with only a few hours left (we had to wake up the next morning at 3:30 for our 7:30 am flight to Siem Reap), we took the train to get to KL Central. And that was a good experience, seeing green all around....We saw Putra Jaya and some other buildings, and realized that we are far behind already, with Malaysia's progress....

KL Central was not a very good experience for me, though. Maybe because I was tired, but there were just too many people in the train... We hopped off in KLCC Suria (they are all kl this and that it was quite confusing!) and marveled at the overwhelming Petronas Towers... the pride of Kuala Lumpur!! Rod, the camera man and the sights addict was so upset he couldn't get a decent picture of the towers in the afternoon (Sunset in KL is at around 7). And so we ate in a lovely restaurant called Madam Kwan's inside the Suria KLCC Mall, something Malaysian. Rod ordered Nasi Lemak (my hubby is not a foodie), and I was brave enough to order almost the same thing, but with prawns! Yummy, we were both so hungry we finished our food right away. By the way Malaysian food for us is not too expensive. Pretty okay for the ambience and all. After, we got ourselves some ice cream (you need it to get rid of the aftertaste) and went around going inside the mall's shops.

I wanted to shop some more but Rod and I had to see the lovely Petronas in its magnificence... So illuminating at night!!!! Rod took many pictures of the famous sight, while I enjoyed a hot but quiet night at the mall's park.

We rode the metro rail back to the International Airport and rode the shuttle back to Concorde Inn, where we packed and slept the few hours we had...

Day 2 - Friday
It was 4 in the morning when we ate a very simple breakfast at Concorde Inn. We were still groggy but quite excited to head for Siem Reap, our main destination. We booked a taxi the day before and spent around 7 rm for the long trip to LCC Terminal, which was so busy in the morning already. Air Asia is really quite impressive...

With the time difference we got an extra hour in Siem Reap. And the first thing we did was book a taxi to get to our hotel, Somadevi. Incidentally, Rod availed of a low price in Somadevi, I can't complain with its good facilities and breakfast, for only$40... really good price. We were ready to brave the heat in Cambodia riding the tuk tuks but the comfort that we found in our taxi possessed us to book our tours with our driver, Mr. Lee Ann (very nice man). For an extra $ 10, we were willing to forego adventure and thriftiness, because the Camry seats were heaven every time.

to be continued.....

How To Travel To Bora With No Yaya

2008-10-26T09:14:00.000+08:00

Whew... After coming home from a 4 day trip with no yaya, Boracay has definitely changed!

Well, gone are the days when I could just laze around and enjoy the sun, because once I close my eyes, my 18-month old toddler might just disappear, right? Also gone are the days of bar hopping in my sexiest beach outfits...my little girl is in dream land by that time, and I am also too tired I enter my own dream world as well

Well, I guess it's really different now, Bora and my life as a mother. Our itinerary has everything to do with my little toddler and nothing to do with me. But there are some things, non-negotiables, I have to say, that we just could not resist. Here's my list and some lessons learned...

1. Jonah's fruit shakes
Okay, our mistake to walk on the beach at noon time, but we're glad we ate there. How can Boracay be such without those mouth watering shakes- Mocha Banana with Peanuts, Watermelon, Mango Papaya shakes ranging from P75-P100... the still live up to their name... and my toddler also enjoyed it there, because I ordered french fries for her. Lesson learned: french fries is the way to go, if all else fails. My husband and I ordered tapsilog and my daughter ate a little of my food. We went there again, after walking from Dmall, and the Watermelon Shake was well deserved.

2. D'Mall
Yup it was a little crazy. But I have to say, if you're planning to go to this area, make sure your child has already taken a nap, NEVER ever when she's about to have a fit and does all these acrobatic stunts to prove to you how sleepy she is. I kinda learned the hard way. My daughter had to be sleepy during the time we were having dinner at Cyma, a yummy Greek restaurant (the original). After taking turns in touring her to the wonderful stores, I guess we enjoyed our burger meal (My God, nothing can stop me from it, it was delish!) (Burger was P275). Lesson learned: face the fact that you and your husband may never enjoy a meal together, one has to eat first in order to attend to the toddler. Anyway, Cyma is in D'Mall, I can't call it cheap at all, but it's definitely worth it.
However, when your toddler is okay and in the mood, D'Mall is a good place for her to run around. I particularly stole a few minutes to buy some jewelry, and my daughter was patient enough, thanks to the entertaining sight of the "Boracay Bling". I got myself and my mom a necklace, earrings for my sister, a bracelet for my other sister, and a birthday present for my mother in law. Though I cannot really disclose the price, let's just say price range for the coral necklaces is P400-500, earrings P100 and bracelets about P100-200. I also got free items because I bought them from the same vendor. So Lesson learned here is if you have the time canvass, and when you make a decision, don't hesitate to ask for some freebies. Just don't be rude, ask in an affectionate and polite way, though. Because they are also very accommodating and kind. Lesson learned: I won't even bother to ask other prices, because I was pressed for time, and given the situation, I think I did pretty well.
Another lesson learned: Since you're already in D'Mall, do what you have to do - i.e. buy pasalubongs, groceries, snacks, and a little toy for your toddler, something she herself chose. You don't have to buy so much, a child will be happy with one thing alone. I bought her a tiny Croc keychain which was a miniture version of her own fuschia Crocs, and she loved it (7 key chains for P100, p20 per key chain) My only stupidity was that I left it in Bora. Well, she doesn't look for it anymore so I guess it has already served its purpose.

3. Iced Caramel Macchiato in Two Seasons
Luckily, we were booked right beside this hotel. (I would recommend SUR, where we stayed. Off-peak rate for a family room was P3,100/night). Not only was the experience good for me (the macchiato was just refreshing), but for my daughter. Two Seasons has a fountain that my baby loved, but more importantly it has a coy garden -pardon the term? that my daughter and her cousins loved. There was one particular coy that was pregnant, and that interested the kids. Another thing is that the music was awesome, 90's, chill-out, house, Bossa Nova and all that Latin groove that made the beach experience so memorable and festive. My toddler just had to shimmy and the staff were very very attentive.

4. Strolling on the beach
Especially at night, when my baby is about to submit to slumber, Station 1 is just magnificent, with the waves, the cold sand, the moon, and the beautiful lights from the different hotels. It doesn't only relax her, but it relaxes me and my husband, too, thinking of all the nice things we have done, dreaming aloud our dreams, being thankful for all the blessings. And if you're gonna do this, too, don't bother to wear slippers. The sand is like a stress-reliever.

5. Playing on the sand during sunset.
By this time everybody is out, music is blasting, and all the people are just relaxing. Such a beautiful way to connect with one another. My daughter and her cousins were just playing with the sand, making sand castles, and on the last afternoon, I got to catch a pearl vendor (you usually see them peddling their pearls in this cooler kind of a bag). I got to buy a pair of pearl earrings for P180-yup the going rate is P150 but these pearls looked bigger and had a natural luster that didn't look too polished, AND I got to see for myself a size 18 south sea pair- heard it was for P250,000. I admit I am no expert in even distinguishing a south sea from a cultured one, but these two circles were the best I have ever seen. So, so beautiful I was tempted to swallow them- haha, joke. Lesson learned: Enjoy this moment, it may take a long time for it to happen again..

Well, obviously I didn't really go anywhere- no island hopping, banana boat riding and such- but I guess it was a unique but happy vacation. I felt sad, though that I was not able to get a massage- I got my period on the second day!!! Never mind, now I can really say Boracay and I are still not over!!!

'